Ever since the tragic events of Saturday afternoon, I have been daydreaming endlessly about what could have transpired had our boys got past the stewards.
Adebayor was kneeling only a few feet away, his arms held wide as if reaching to hug a giant sack of banknotes, and I couldn’t help noticing how vulnerable he would have been to a handful of seething Gooners charging onto the pitch. His bony behind was blocking what would appear to be his weapons of choice – his studs.
These daydreams were beautiful. I could picture a Gooner pinning him to the grass and hitting him so hard he would forget both his roots and his lifelong debt to the man who plucked him from obscurity to turn him into a star. Oh, wait…
I imagined three or four Arsenal fans restraining his flailing donkey limbs, beckoning for van Persie to come over and exact his revenge. Robin would stand over Ade in his effeminate way, hand on hip, chomping at the bit with those gargantuan teeth of his. He would lower himself, watching Ade tremble with fear having been reduced to his spineless, cowardly self with no dangerous metal objects with which to lash out, and limply drag his pale, wilting wrist across his old partner’s face. Satisfied that the score was even, Robin would mince back to the centre circle, his arms bouncing around flaccidly in response to the air resistance, and prepare to kick off.
Back in the real world, I expect the FA to give him what he deserves. Realistically, we can expect him to get a six-game ban – anything less would be a farce – seeing as they can give him one three-game ban for his incendiary celebration and another for the stamp, but it should be a lot more. The celebration was to be expected from a player who is about as much of a credit to his profession as Harold Shipman, but that stamp was an abomination. When you consider that Paolo di Canio was banned for eleven matches for a pretty unconvincing push on a referee, surely seemingly attempting to pop an opponent’s eyeball with a metal stud should warrant much more. While nothing came of it other than a small gash to Robin’s cheek, it was a much more malicious and dangerous stamp than most and should be given a longer punishment.
My advice to the Citeh fans is to enjoy it while you can. Once Adebayor’s form is sufficient to reignite rumours about Barcelona and AC Milan, he’ll start banging on about how they’re as big a turn-on as Beyonce again and you’ll feel about as frumpy and inadequate as you did in the days of Jon Macken and Steve Howey.
I feel I should say something about the Arsenal midfield. Not to take anything away from the opposition's counter-attacks, they just didn’t feel like defending, and suddenly that Vieira-shaped hole in our squad seems all the more worrying. Even Alex Song, who is an accomplished tackler and usually a reliable holding midfielder, was putting in some lazy challenges. Denilson seemed to be out of position every time City broke, and Cesc should have been deployed deeper against a forward line with the pace of Wright-Phillips and Bellamy. I still think our defence is looking much better this season, but we’re going to keep conceding if Wenger insists on having a three-man midfield obsessed with playmaking.
To say Arsenal are out of the title race this early would validate the sensationalist bile projected by Sky Sports News and the red tops, but to have lost two games already isn’t a great start considering we have five Big Four matches left, two against the scum, two against Villa and another against City. I doubt many expected us to challenge for the title this season – although I think we have a real chance in the other competitions, including Europe – but an improvement on last year is needed if we’re going to stay in the Champions League places. If the authorities could start banning the right people, that might help too...
Adebayor was kneeling only a few feet away, his arms held wide as if reaching to hug a giant sack of banknotes, and I couldn’t help noticing how vulnerable he would have been to a handful of seething Gooners charging onto the pitch. His bony behind was blocking what would appear to be his weapons of choice – his studs.
These daydreams were beautiful. I could picture a Gooner pinning him to the grass and hitting him so hard he would forget both his roots and his lifelong debt to the man who plucked him from obscurity to turn him into a star. Oh, wait…
I imagined three or four Arsenal fans restraining his flailing donkey limbs, beckoning for van Persie to come over and exact his revenge. Robin would stand over Ade in his effeminate way, hand on hip, chomping at the bit with those gargantuan teeth of his. He would lower himself, watching Ade tremble with fear having been reduced to his spineless, cowardly self with no dangerous metal objects with which to lash out, and limply drag his pale, wilting wrist across his old partner’s face. Satisfied that the score was even, Robin would mince back to the centre circle, his arms bouncing around flaccidly in response to the air resistance, and prepare to kick off.
Back in the real world, I expect the FA to give him what he deserves. Realistically, we can expect him to get a six-game ban – anything less would be a farce – seeing as they can give him one three-game ban for his incendiary celebration and another for the stamp, but it should be a lot more. The celebration was to be expected from a player who is about as much of a credit to his profession as Harold Shipman, but that stamp was an abomination. When you consider that Paolo di Canio was banned for eleven matches for a pretty unconvincing push on a referee, surely seemingly attempting to pop an opponent’s eyeball with a metal stud should warrant much more. While nothing came of it other than a small gash to Robin’s cheek, it was a much more malicious and dangerous stamp than most and should be given a longer punishment.
My advice to the Citeh fans is to enjoy it while you can. Once Adebayor’s form is sufficient to reignite rumours about Barcelona and AC Milan, he’ll start banging on about how they’re as big a turn-on as Beyonce again and you’ll feel about as frumpy and inadequate as you did in the days of Jon Macken and Steve Howey.
I feel I should say something about the Arsenal midfield. Not to take anything away from the opposition's counter-attacks, they just didn’t feel like defending, and suddenly that Vieira-shaped hole in our squad seems all the more worrying. Even Alex Song, who is an accomplished tackler and usually a reliable holding midfielder, was putting in some lazy challenges. Denilson seemed to be out of position every time City broke, and Cesc should have been deployed deeper against a forward line with the pace of Wright-Phillips and Bellamy. I still think our defence is looking much better this season, but we’re going to keep conceding if Wenger insists on having a three-man midfield obsessed with playmaking.
To say Arsenal are out of the title race this early would validate the sensationalist bile projected by Sky Sports News and the red tops, but to have lost two games already isn’t a great start considering we have five Big Four matches left, two against the scum, two against Villa and another against City. I doubt many expected us to challenge for the title this season – although I think we have a real chance in the other competitions, including Europe – but an improvement on last year is needed if we’re going to stay in the Champions League places. If the authorities could start banning the right people, that might help too...
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5 comments:
6 matches would be a let-off.
Eric Cantona versus Crystal Palace anyone?
Alex Song will come good, and he's the only one of our midfielders who isn't 'obsessed with playmaking'! With the possible exception of Diaby, but it would be too hard to tell, haven knows what he's trying to do most of the time. I cannot believe how naive the City fans are, he's going to bugger them like he did to Arsenal, Monaco and Togo!
But let's be fair Eric Cantona was a bit worse! Adebaywhore is still scum though.
van persie is harder than he looks, have you seen him tackling.....!
Midfield is full of pansies. Vieira isn't what he once was but fair point, he wouldn't have stood for the kind of bollocks............ My biggest regret is that we pissed of Lassana Diarra, what a mistake.
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