(Sketch)
Ten minutes remained until kick-off. The Arsenal and Manchester United players had just completed their warm-ups, and were now filing down the tunnel to their respective changing rooms.
There was a tangible sense of anticipation spreading throughout the Emirates. Huge banners billowed as they were passed around the stands, while fans took to their seats and speculated excitedly about the line-ups. In the Green Quadrant, the home and away support exchanged melodic banter; the Manchester United supporters were doing their best to make themselves heard after the long journey down.
With darkness beginning to descend, the floodlights blazed over the arena. The immaculate pitch was illuminated by their glare, the radiant green glow of the turf complementing the increasingly vibrant atmosphere.
Kick-off was drawing closer. A cotton blanket of red and white scarves unfurled itself across the home stands to the opening refrain of 'The Wonder of You'.
Meanwhile, in the Manchester United changing room, the players were sat on the benches awaiting their manager's team-talk.
Gary Neville was complaining about the recent insults by Carlos Tevez to a disinterested Park Ji-Sung. Remaining fiercely loyal to his Argentinian friend, the midfielder had defiantly rammed his fingers into his ears and was now obstinately - and tunelessly - warbling a traditional South Korean ditty at the top of his voice.
Dimitar Berbatov, who had given training a miss, had only just come out of the shower; he was now sauntering languidly across the dressing room in his towel, his crow-like features and withering hairline still wet after an inexplicable 45 minutes of lazy lavation. Michael Owen, clean-shaven and raring to go, watched in disbelief, wondering how much it would take for the Bulgarian to finally irk the Manchester United management.
In the corner of the changing room, Nemanja Vidic was vigorously devouring a raw beef steak, his face soaked in cow blood.
A minute of near silence passed, with most of the dressing room becoming concerned about their manager's absence. Mike Phelan was stood by the door checking his watch, growing visibly anxious as the kick-off drew nearer.
"Where is... boss?" Antonio Valencia awkwardly enquired.
Phelan pushed the door ajar and poked his head into the tunnel - still no sign of Ferguson. He closed the door and folded his arms. "I'm sure he'll be here soon."
The players started to grumble amongst themselves as the assistant leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and wondering where on earth Ferguson had got to.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash in the tunnel, followed by the sound of laboured breathing and heavy footsteps. The room shook as something large hit the other side of the near wall, propelling a screaming Rafael da Silva across the floor.
The players leapt to their feet, visibly startled. The commotion continued in the hall as they babbled anxiously amongst themselves and considered the possibility of an attempt at intimidation by Arsenal.
"Wait," Michael Carrick called out. The room fell silent.
The midfielder held out a hand and sniffed the air. "Does anyone else smell... alcohol?"
The players turned to face the door to the tunnel. The handle was now rattling sporadically, and the same large weight that had hit the wall seemed to be slumped against the other side of the door. The atmosphere was tense; all around the room, hearts were pounding against rib cages, and beads of sweat were trickling down foreheads.
Ryan Giggs stepped forward cautiously. "Perhaps we should -"
He was hushed by his team-mates. The rattling was now frantic, and ill-tempered grunting could be heard in the tunnel. Phelan held Giggs aside and inched towards the door, his hand poised to turn the handle; the players all held their breath.
Suddenly, the door burst open. Sir Alex Ferguson stumbled into the room, his cheeks flaring a magnificent scarlet and his white Manchester United polo stained with crimson splatters. In his hand was a large bottle of red wine, which was now spilling freely over the United players as he struggled to maintain his balance. He had neglected to tie up the top of his tracksuit trousers, and his waistband was now flapping perilously close to the lower limits of good taste.
"What are you all looking at?" he slurred, leering obnoxiously at his players. "You all think you're so important with your... cars, and your trainers..."
Mike Phelan rubbed his eyes in frustration. No matter how many times this happened, he would never know how to handle it. "Alex, maybe you could just -"
"That's Sir Alex to you, Felon!" Ferguson barked, staggering disjointedly in the direction of his assistant. "You're no Carlos Qu-" He hiccupped crudely, sprinkling his assistant's face with yeasty spittle.
"Yes, okay Sir Alex," Phelan continued, wincing and wiping his face. He held his hands out and made a downward gesture. "Maybe we can just put the bottle down."
Ferguson nodded - then violently threw the bottle across the room. It exploded against a locker, showering nearby players with shards of glass.
"My eye!" Jonny Evans screamed. "Oh my God, there's glass in my eye!"
Antonio Valencia groaned weakly, his feeble fingers fluttering across the top of his head to find the source of the blood which was now cascading freely down his forehead.
Nemanja Vidic sat in between them, simply staring forward with a fixed, resolute expression. The unblinking Serb seemed completely oblivious to the sharp debris raining down on his skull, which remained curiously unscathed.
Ferguson smiled, his eyelids drifting independently in opposite directions. "We're gonnae win easily... We've got Nummy-Na and Rio back in defence..."
Phelan opened his mouth to remind him, but checked himself. "Sir Alex, I think -"
"Hey, it's Nani," Ferguson giggled, waddling across the changing room as his tracksuit bottoms began their inevitable, mischievous descent. The players behind recoiled in disgust as they were greeted with the sight of two red buttocks jiggling themselves free of their polyester oppressors.
Taking no notice, Nani was tying his bootlaces. "And then the bunny jumped into the hole -"
He stopped short, as a wide, dark shadow spread over his feet. He looked up just in time to see Ferguson stumble, trip over the tracksuit trousers which had now caught around his shins, and lose his balance.
Fearstruck, the winger leapt aside as his manager crashed face-first into the wooden bench, rebounded off it and tumbled to the floor.
Several of the players gasped audibly. Phelan rushed to Ferguson's side, his hands on his head and panic in his eyes. The da Silva twins were huddled together in the corner of the room, wailing and squealing in fright.
The manager's head was turned at an unnatural angle, and his short, squat limbs were jutting out in worrying positions. His cheeks had flushed a peculiar shade of purple; drool oozed out of the corner of his mouth.
He hiccupped and started to mumble incoherently. His tracksuit trousers still snagged around his ankles, he began to roll groggily from side to side, his features contorted in fury.
"Where's Cristiano?!" he yelled, his voice hoarsening. "Where's... Cristiano..." He relaxed and rolled over, his ferocity giving way to gentle sobbing.
Phelan and the players stared in bemused silence. Tears streamed down the bawling Scotsman's cheeks; he tried to wipe them clear, in doing so smearing a globule of mucus across his nose. His soft weeping resonated around the dressing room as he clawed at the floor in drunken despair.
The players all looked at Phelan, silently urging him to do something.
The assistant knelt next to Ferguson, calculating his next few words carefully. Employing the hushed, sympathetic tone of a primary school teacher dealing with a manic-depressive child, he tried to reason with the inebriated manager. "Sir Alex... the match is about to start. Let's get you up."
No sooner had he reached to help Ferguson to his feet than the manager had rolled away and emitted a sort of snore-grunt hybrid. His mouth lolling open and his chin glistening in saliva, the Scotsman faded out of consciousness.
Phelan and the players stared aghast at their inanimate manager. With a key fixture in his team's season literally moments away, one of the greatest managers in football history was lying prostrate on the floor in a state of dangerous intoxication.
The eery silence relinquished itself to the gentle pitter-patter of tiny feet in the tunnel.
"The Arsenal players are heading out," Phelan sighed. "Right, go wait in the tunnel and I'll sort him out - it looks like I'll have to take over."
(If any Manchester United fans see this, it's just a bit of fun... please be good sports! I should clarify that this is fictional - Sir Alex Ferguson does not have a drink problem. Here's hoping for an entertaining home win on Sunday...)
Showing newest 17 of 29 posts from January 2010. Show older posts
Showing newest 17 of 29 posts from January 2010. Show older posts
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Arsenal win big games without key players - the proof
It has emerged that Thomas Vermaelen hasn't fractured his leg, although Wenger says "there is still a good chance he will not play on Sunday".
It won't help matters if he can't play against United, but it's great news that he's not seriously injured. If Arsenal are to challenge for honours this year, we could probably do with two centre-backs who have arguably formed the best pairing in the Premiership this season staying fit. After seeing Wayne Rooney rampaging around Old Trafford recently like a distressed mother rhinoceros separated from its calf, Wenger will know the defence has to be airtight this weekend, and like the rest of us will be praying to the Injury Gods to stop picking on Arsenal for a few days and let us off just this once.
But even if Vermaelen can't make it back in time, there is plenty to be optimistic about. Judging from Campbell's solid performance against Villa last night, I think we might just manage without the wild-eyed Belgian; in fact, Big Sol's monstrous strength could give us the extra dimension needed to sort out Rooney's potent muscle/manboob combination. Plus there is more good news - Wenger reckons Alex Song and Emmanuel Eboue are ready to come back into the squad:
"They are both in good shape. Tired but in good shape. Both of them are available for Sunday."
Anyway, in light of yet another Arsenal injury with all the impeccable timing of a Paul Scholes challenge, I started to think about the times when we have gone into a big match with a half first-choice, half creche starting XI. Casting an eye over some of our most historic victories in the Noughties, I realised that we have toppled some of the best teams in the world without important first-choice players - and in some cases, replacing them with back-ups either young enough to assume that Chelsea might have some history (19-year-old Johan Djourou helping to keep a clean sheet at Old Trafford) or just downright dreadful (Pascal Cygan). And look how many times Manchester United come up...
Arsenal 2 Manchester United 1 (8th November 08):
Emmanuel Adebayor out, Theo Walcott in
Robin van Persie out, Abou Diaby in
Kolo Toure out (on bench after injury), Mikael Silvestre in
AC Milan 0 Arsenal 2 (4th March 08):
Kolo Toure out, Philippe Senderos in
Robin van Persie out (on bench after injury), Emmanuel Eboue in
Tomas Rosicky out, Abou Diaby in
Manchester United 0 Arsenal 1 (17th November 06):
Thierry Henry out, Emmanuel Adebayor in
Robin van Persie out, Fredrik Ljungberg in
Gael Clichy out, Johan Djourou in
Arsenal 2 Juventus 0 (28th March 06):
Sol Campbell out, Philippe Senderos in
Ashley Cole out, Mathieu Flamini in
Lauren out, Emmanuel Eboue in
Real Madrid 0 Arsenal 1 (21st February 06):
Sol Campbell out, Philippe Senderos in
Ashley Cole out, Mathieu Flamini in
Lauren out, Emmanuel Eboue in
Inter Milan 1 Arsenal 5 (25th November 03):
Patrick Vieira out, Ray Parlour in
Lauren out, Pascal Cygan in
Dennis Bergkamp out, Kanu in
Roma 1 Arsenal 3 (27th November 02):
David Seaman out, Rami Shaaban in
Dennis Bergkamp out, Sylvain Wiltord in
Lauren out, Oleg Luzhny in
Martin Keown out, Pascal Cygan in
Manchester United 0 Arsenal 1 (8th May 02):
Robert Pires out, Edu in
Thierry Henry out, Kanu in
Arsenal 3 Manchester United 1 (25th November 01):
David Seaman out, Stuart Taylor in
Martin Keown out, Matthew Upson in
Of course, this is hardly to say that we could turn up at the Nou Camp with Mark Randall running the midfield and come away with an emphatic win - things can go wrong when the team's missing the big guns, which was how we learned more about Pascal Cygan. But it does show that we can get big results with a line-up about as incongruously mixed as Harry Redknapp's facial features.
As for last night, a point was probably what we deserved. We had some luck at our end; Stewart Downing missed a header which Verne Troyer could have put away, while Agbonlahor's pace was causing all sorts of problems. We can thank Manuel Almunia for a couple of impressive saves and a fairly solid performance, without which we might have left Villa Park completely empty-handed.
Sol Campbell put in a classic centre-back's performance, dealing with crosses and generally using his bulk to quell Villa's creativity down the middle. William Gallas played well yet again, showing plenty of authority and handling Agbonlahor much better than he did in their last meeting at the Emirates - I don't think too many would disagree with me when I say that he's been the best centre-back out of any in the top four this season, and certainly a contender for the best in the league. Gael Clichy, on the other hand, won't exactly be delighted with his contribution, having spent much of the first half frantically dragging himself through Ashley Young's muddy wake; however, he upped his game after the break and showed signs that he can get back to form on Sunday.
Tomas Rosicky was causing Villa plenty of problems, and seems to be improving with each game. His composure and decision-making can be vital when other Arsenal forwards are struggling - ie. receiving the ball on the edge of the area, screaming "you do it" and passing it back to a weary Fabregas. He has a great understanding with the captain, and the way they combine in passing movements just goes to show how the team can benefit from two best friends playing together. Oh, to be back in the heady days of that inseparable pair, Adebayor and Bendtner...
Bendtner himself looked fairly sharp considering how long he's been out, but this might be something to do with his postponed return. He had expected to be back in time for the first Bolton game, but had to wait an extra ten days after Wenger figured out that much of our problem with injuries comes down to rushing players back when they are, in fact, still injured. I can only imagine what he was planning before he realised this - maybe next month we were to be treated to a wincing, sobbing van Persie tottering about the penalty area on crutches in a hopelessly offside position, pleading for a substitution while his manager watched on with pride.
Speaking of injury returns, Samir Nasri looked deadly when he came on and I found myself wishing he had been introduced even just a couple of minutes earlier. He was the catalyst in our late, desperate surge, and I hope he starts the next match if he's going to play like that.
Anyway, with Robin van Persie the only first-choice player certain to miss out on Sunday, and Vermaelen possibly still available, we shouldn't be panicking about our chances against United. If Rami Shaaban and Pascal Cygan could handle one of the greatest attacking teams around in 2002, anything is possible.
It won't help matters if he can't play against United, but it's great news that he's not seriously injured. If Arsenal are to challenge for honours this year, we could probably do with two centre-backs who have arguably formed the best pairing in the Premiership this season staying fit. After seeing Wayne Rooney rampaging around Old Trafford recently like a distressed mother rhinoceros separated from its calf, Wenger will know the defence has to be airtight this weekend, and like the rest of us will be praying to the Injury Gods to stop picking on Arsenal for a few days and let us off just this once.
But even if Vermaelen can't make it back in time, there is plenty to be optimistic about. Judging from Campbell's solid performance against Villa last night, I think we might just manage without the wild-eyed Belgian; in fact, Big Sol's monstrous strength could give us the extra dimension needed to sort out Rooney's potent muscle/manboob combination. Plus there is more good news - Wenger reckons Alex Song and Emmanuel Eboue are ready to come back into the squad:
"They are both in good shape. Tired but in good shape. Both of them are available for Sunday."
Anyway, in light of yet another Arsenal injury with all the impeccable timing of a Paul Scholes challenge, I started to think about the times when we have gone into a big match with a half first-choice, half creche starting XI. Casting an eye over some of our most historic victories in the Noughties, I realised that we have toppled some of the best teams in the world without important first-choice players - and in some cases, replacing them with back-ups either young enough to assume that Chelsea might have some history (19-year-old Johan Djourou helping to keep a clean sheet at Old Trafford) or just downright dreadful (Pascal Cygan). And look how many times Manchester United come up...
Arsenal 2 Manchester United 1 (8th November 08):
Emmanuel Adebayor out, Theo Walcott in
Robin van Persie out, Abou Diaby in
Kolo Toure out (on bench after injury), Mikael Silvestre in
AC Milan 0 Arsenal 2 (4th March 08):
Kolo Toure out, Philippe Senderos in
Robin van Persie out (on bench after injury), Emmanuel Eboue in
Tomas Rosicky out, Abou Diaby in
Manchester United 0 Arsenal 1 (17th November 06):
Thierry Henry out, Emmanuel Adebayor in
Robin van Persie out, Fredrik Ljungberg in
Gael Clichy out, Johan Djourou in
Arsenal 2 Juventus 0 (28th March 06):
Sol Campbell out, Philippe Senderos in
Ashley Cole out, Mathieu Flamini in
Lauren out, Emmanuel Eboue in
Real Madrid 0 Arsenal 1 (21st February 06):
Sol Campbell out, Philippe Senderos in
Ashley Cole out, Mathieu Flamini in
Lauren out, Emmanuel Eboue in
Inter Milan 1 Arsenal 5 (25th November 03):
Patrick Vieira out, Ray Parlour in
Lauren out, Pascal Cygan in
Dennis Bergkamp out, Kanu in
Roma 1 Arsenal 3 (27th November 02):
David Seaman out, Rami Shaaban in
Dennis Bergkamp out, Sylvain Wiltord in
Lauren out, Oleg Luzhny in
Martin Keown out, Pascal Cygan in
Manchester United 0 Arsenal 1 (8th May 02):
Robert Pires out, Edu in
Thierry Henry out, Kanu in
Arsenal 3 Manchester United 1 (25th November 01):
David Seaman out, Stuart Taylor in
Martin Keown out, Matthew Upson in
Of course, this is hardly to say that we could turn up at the Nou Camp with Mark Randall running the midfield and come away with an emphatic win - things can go wrong when the team's missing the big guns, which was how we learned more about Pascal Cygan. But it does show that we can get big results with a line-up about as incongruously mixed as Harry Redknapp's facial features.
As for last night, a point was probably what we deserved. We had some luck at our end; Stewart Downing missed a header which Verne Troyer could have put away, while Agbonlahor's pace was causing all sorts of problems. We can thank Manuel Almunia for a couple of impressive saves and a fairly solid performance, without which we might have left Villa Park completely empty-handed.
Sol Campbell put in a classic centre-back's performance, dealing with crosses and generally using his bulk to quell Villa's creativity down the middle. William Gallas played well yet again, showing plenty of authority and handling Agbonlahor much better than he did in their last meeting at the Emirates - I don't think too many would disagree with me when I say that he's been the best centre-back out of any in the top four this season, and certainly a contender for the best in the league. Gael Clichy, on the other hand, won't exactly be delighted with his contribution, having spent much of the first half frantically dragging himself through Ashley Young's muddy wake; however, he upped his game after the break and showed signs that he can get back to form on Sunday.
Tomas Rosicky was causing Villa plenty of problems, and seems to be improving with each game. His composure and decision-making can be vital when other Arsenal forwards are struggling - ie. receiving the ball on the edge of the area, screaming "you do it" and passing it back to a weary Fabregas. He has a great understanding with the captain, and the way they combine in passing movements just goes to show how the team can benefit from two best friends playing together. Oh, to be back in the heady days of that inseparable pair, Adebayor and Bendtner...
Bendtner himself looked fairly sharp considering how long he's been out, but this might be something to do with his postponed return. He had expected to be back in time for the first Bolton game, but had to wait an extra ten days after Wenger figured out that much of our problem with injuries comes down to rushing players back when they are, in fact, still injured. I can only imagine what he was planning before he realised this - maybe next month we were to be treated to a wincing, sobbing van Persie tottering about the penalty area on crutches in a hopelessly offside position, pleading for a substitution while his manager watched on with pride.
Speaking of injury returns, Samir Nasri looked deadly when he came on and I found myself wishing he had been introduced even just a couple of minutes earlier. He was the catalyst in our late, desperate surge, and I hope he starts the next match if he's going to play like that.
Anyway, with Robin van Persie the only first-choice player certain to miss out on Sunday, and Vermaelen possibly still available, we shouldn't be panicking about our chances against United. If Rami Shaaban and Pascal Cygan could handle one of the greatest attacking teams around in 2002, anything is possible.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Why to be grateful for Wenger: the reality of Manchester United's implosion
The media has apparently got ahead of themselves in the Chris Smalling situation. Roy Hodgson was interviewed over the defender's potential move yesterday, stating that a bid had been accepted from Manchester United and that he 'believes' Smalling has agreed terms with the club; however, he has not completed his medical yet. Even the BBC announced his signature, breaking their policy of waiting to announce a player's transfer until after he has featured in about five competitive fixtures with his new team.
The media is tearing United to pieces, and it seems utterly bizarre that a club over £700m in debt is still signing new players without at least selling some of their current squad first. The change in the state of their finances since the Glazers' takeover can be compared roughly to the career path of Eric Djemba-Djemba, and it looks like things will only get worse for them.
There was an interesting piece in the Telegraph yesterday by Paul Marshall, a British hedge fund owner and philanthropist - working in his profession, he should know what he's talking about when it comes to obscenely rich Americans destroying businesses in this country. He pointed out that in 2005 Manchester United were completely debt free, and one of the most financially stable clubs in the world - but now United and their holding company are £716.5m in the red. Malcolm Glazer and his family "have saddled the company with debt close to twice the annual turnover and over five times the underlying profits."
You might recall that the Glazers' takeover bid in 2004 was initially rebuffed, with chief executive David Gill telling them that the resulting debt would create problems - their plan for the takeover didn't seem financially viable. But the Glazers came back and successfully bought the club with a new plan based on the use of 'payment-in-kind' (PIK) notes, which could later be converted to shares. The notes were labelled as equity rather than debt.
However, the problem was that interest on these notes could reach 20%, a sidenote which benefited the three hedge funds that invested the money, but would eventually be catastrophic for both United and the Glazers. In 2006, the Glazers reimbursed half of the PIK notes, but the premium paid to the hedge funds and subsequent restructuring increased the debt to £660m. In 2010, the debt is well over £700m.
From a football perspective, it's pretty shocking. Between 2005 and 2009, Manchester United's holding company Red Football Joint Venture Limited has spent over £260m servicing the debt, meaning that Manchester United Plc has faced debt costs averaging £40m per year since the takeover. So money is literally pouring out of United's 'football budget' into the pockets of the bankers.
And apparently, the worst is yet to come. They might have raised £500m from the bond issue last week to pay off some of the current debt, but the club will now be paying annual interest charges of £60m (£40m on the bonds, £20m on PIK); and the Glazers are even entitled to withdraw £140m from Manchester United as dividends to pay the holding company's debts. Marshall insists that the interest payments are only just covered by the club's annual profits, so "Manchester United will never realistically be able to pay off the debt".
If Arsenal were in this position, we would be outraged. I know they might be annoyed that an Arsenal blog is talking about this, but I can understand the United fans' fury over what is happening to their club. Marshall reckons the fans will have to buy the club, and it looks like the supporters who reacted to the 2005 takeover by branching off to form FC United of Manchester had a point. It just goes to show that we really do take for granted the meticulous financial planning over recent years by Arsene Wenger and the board.
At the moment, other clubs have been hit hard by the global financial meltdown - Portsmouth were given winding up orders to pay off their debt to other clubs, in addition to a transfer embargo. While United's debt hasn't yet reached the point where they would suffer such punishments, it doesn't look like spending £8m on a young player is the best idea right now. However, as Smalling won't be joining until next season, it suddenly looks like there might even be some substance to the rumours about Vidic leaving, which previously seemed to have about as much truth to them as Harry Redknapp's latest correspondence with HM Revenue & Customs.
Anyway, back to Arsenal.
If we really have missed out on Chris Smalling, there could be problems for our defence next season. Wenger yesterday clarified that Philippe Senderos will not be offered a new contract, which would suggest that he might still be after a new centre-back. Considering both Gallas and Silvestre will currently be out of contract in the summer, he will have to act fast to sort out new deals and make sure we won't be short at the back next season; although Djourou is yet to return from injury and Havard Nordveit will be back from loan.
As for this evening, the squad is looking a lot stronger. The first XI will be restored, including Bakary Sagna who has recovered from his shoulder injury. Nicklas Bendtner will be on the bench after three months out, and he should be joined by Samir Nasri.
Here's hoping for a good result at Villa Park to get us ready for another six-pointer on Sunday...
The media is tearing United to pieces, and it seems utterly bizarre that a club over £700m in debt is still signing new players without at least selling some of their current squad first. The change in the state of their finances since the Glazers' takeover can be compared roughly to the career path of Eric Djemba-Djemba, and it looks like things will only get worse for them.
There was an interesting piece in the Telegraph yesterday by Paul Marshall, a British hedge fund owner and philanthropist - working in his profession, he should know what he's talking about when it comes to obscenely rich Americans destroying businesses in this country. He pointed out that in 2005 Manchester United were completely debt free, and one of the most financially stable clubs in the world - but now United and their holding company are £716.5m in the red. Malcolm Glazer and his family "have saddled the company with debt close to twice the annual turnover and over five times the underlying profits."
You might recall that the Glazers' takeover bid in 2004 was initially rebuffed, with chief executive David Gill telling them that the resulting debt would create problems - their plan for the takeover didn't seem financially viable. But the Glazers came back and successfully bought the club with a new plan based on the use of 'payment-in-kind' (PIK) notes, which could later be converted to shares. The notes were labelled as equity rather than debt.
However, the problem was that interest on these notes could reach 20%, a sidenote which benefited the three hedge funds that invested the money, but would eventually be catastrophic for both United and the Glazers. In 2006, the Glazers reimbursed half of the PIK notes, but the premium paid to the hedge funds and subsequent restructuring increased the debt to £660m. In 2010, the debt is well over £700m.
From a football perspective, it's pretty shocking. Between 2005 and 2009, Manchester United's holding company Red Football Joint Venture Limited has spent over £260m servicing the debt, meaning that Manchester United Plc has faced debt costs averaging £40m per year since the takeover. So money is literally pouring out of United's 'football budget' into the pockets of the bankers.
And apparently, the worst is yet to come. They might have raised £500m from the bond issue last week to pay off some of the current debt, but the club will now be paying annual interest charges of £60m (£40m on the bonds, £20m on PIK); and the Glazers are even entitled to withdraw £140m from Manchester United as dividends to pay the holding company's debts. Marshall insists that the interest payments are only just covered by the club's annual profits, so "Manchester United will never realistically be able to pay off the debt".
If Arsenal were in this position, we would be outraged. I know they might be annoyed that an Arsenal blog is talking about this, but I can understand the United fans' fury over what is happening to their club. Marshall reckons the fans will have to buy the club, and it looks like the supporters who reacted to the 2005 takeover by branching off to form FC United of Manchester had a point. It just goes to show that we really do take for granted the meticulous financial planning over recent years by Arsene Wenger and the board.
At the moment, other clubs have been hit hard by the global financial meltdown - Portsmouth were given winding up orders to pay off their debt to other clubs, in addition to a transfer embargo. While United's debt hasn't yet reached the point where they would suffer such punishments, it doesn't look like spending £8m on a young player is the best idea right now. However, as Smalling won't be joining until next season, it suddenly looks like there might even be some substance to the rumours about Vidic leaving, which previously seemed to have about as much truth to them as Harry Redknapp's latest correspondence with HM Revenue & Customs.
Anyway, back to Arsenal.
If we really have missed out on Chris Smalling, there could be problems for our defence next season. Wenger yesterday clarified that Philippe Senderos will not be offered a new contract, which would suggest that he might still be after a new centre-back. Considering both Gallas and Silvestre will currently be out of contract in the summer, he will have to act fast to sort out new deals and make sure we won't be short at the back next season; although Djourou is yet to return from injury and Havard Nordveit will be back from loan.
As for this evening, the squad is looking a lot stronger. The first XI will be restored, including Bakary Sagna who has recovered from his shoulder injury. Nicklas Bendtner will be on the bench after three months out, and he should be joined by Samir Nasri.
Here's hoping for a good result at Villa Park to get us ready for another six-pointer on Sunday...
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Wenger drops a pretty big transfer hint, plus Song to the rescue
Suddenly, our squad's looking rather full again - Eboue and Song are back from Angola, just in time to give us a boost before all the six-pointers.
We shouldn't be too excited yet, though. After an intense tournament with little rest beforehand, they will be nearly as tired as an anti-Wenger chant at Old Trafford, and I wouldn't expect either to be in the squad tomorrow. Still though, a week's rest should stand the pair in good stead for United next Sunday, and I would expect Song will be ready to start that one.
Turning our attention to tomorrow night, Villa shouldn't be taken any more lightly than our next opponents. They've been on great form over the last couple of months, and recent wins at Old Trafford and the Stadium of Light aren't to be sniffed at. James Milner has been more dangerous this season than Joan Laporta pulling up in an unlicensed taxi outside Cesc Fabregas' house, and Gabriel Agbonlahor has shown that he can cause us problems. They are in the league's top ten for assists and goals respectively and, along with Ashley Young, could cause us some serious problems. One of the main worries will be their pace on the counter attack, as well as the strength of both Milner and whichever target-man/wardrobe O'Neill picks this time.
With four wins in their last five matches, they'll be in buoyant mood - but with six in our last eight, we won't be any less chirpy. Plus, they've scored half the number of home goals we have, while we've scored the most away goals out of all twenty league teams. Throw in the fact that both Liverpool and Wigan have left Villa Park with three points, and it looks like there's a real possibility that we could get a great result tomorrow night.
In transfer news, Wilshere will be going on loan within the next 48 hours to one of several league teams, with Wenger suggesting Burnley as his most likely destination. The manager also made a statement about Chris Smalling, saying "it just looks like Manchester United offered more than us" before the old classics, "we will not come out on what we are doing exactly" and "if we have anything more to tell you we will let you know", which usually precede an Arsenal signing by rougly five minutes.
Lastly, it turns out Jay-Z is a Gooner. Apparently he was seen at Eastlands last year, prompting a flurry of riveting media reports about him being a City fan. But yesterday he spoke out on an issue that I'm sure has been on the mind of every football fan in the country, saying, "I'm glad Arsenal now know it's them I support," before suggesting that he might meet up with the team.
I don't know how far back his support for Arsenal stretches, but personally I wouldn't blame him if he had picked Manchester City and later decided to switch. I can only imagine it had something to do with Emmanuel Adebayor arriving on the scene, finally getting the chance to meet Beyonce - and then not only propositioning her, but bringing money into it.
We shouldn't be too excited yet, though. After an intense tournament with little rest beforehand, they will be nearly as tired as an anti-Wenger chant at Old Trafford, and I wouldn't expect either to be in the squad tomorrow. Still though, a week's rest should stand the pair in good stead for United next Sunday, and I would expect Song will be ready to start that one.
Turning our attention to tomorrow night, Villa shouldn't be taken any more lightly than our next opponents. They've been on great form over the last couple of months, and recent wins at Old Trafford and the Stadium of Light aren't to be sniffed at. James Milner has been more dangerous this season than Joan Laporta pulling up in an unlicensed taxi outside Cesc Fabregas' house, and Gabriel Agbonlahor has shown that he can cause us problems. They are in the league's top ten for assists and goals respectively and, along with Ashley Young, could cause us some serious problems. One of the main worries will be their pace on the counter attack, as well as the strength of both Milner and whichever target-man/wardrobe O'Neill picks this time.
With four wins in their last five matches, they'll be in buoyant mood - but with six in our last eight, we won't be any less chirpy. Plus, they've scored half the number of home goals we have, while we've scored the most away goals out of all twenty league teams. Throw in the fact that both Liverpool and Wigan have left Villa Park with three points, and it looks like there's a real possibility that we could get a great result tomorrow night.
In transfer news, Wilshere will be going on loan within the next 48 hours to one of several league teams, with Wenger suggesting Burnley as his most likely destination. The manager also made a statement about Chris Smalling, saying "it just looks like Manchester United offered more than us" before the old classics, "we will not come out on what we are doing exactly" and "if we have anything more to tell you we will let you know", which usually precede an Arsenal signing by rougly five minutes.
Lastly, it turns out Jay-Z is a Gooner. Apparently he was seen at Eastlands last year, prompting a flurry of riveting media reports about him being a City fan. But yesterday he spoke out on an issue that I'm sure has been on the mind of every football fan in the country, saying, "I'm glad Arsenal now know it's them I support," before suggesting that he might meet up with the team.
I don't know how far back his support for Arsenal stretches, but personally I wouldn't blame him if he had picked Manchester City and later decided to switch. I can only imagine it had something to do with Emmanuel Adebayor arriving on the scene, finally getting the chance to meet Beyonce - and then not only propositioning her, but bringing money into it.
Monday, 25 January 2010
Unusual stroke of good luck could help Arsenal win the league
Yesterday's defeat at Stoke may have given Chelsea an excellent chance of winning one of the world's most famous cup competitions - indeed, a tournament nearly as old as most of their squad - but it has given us a massive opportunity in the league. Like a kindly Russian oligarch dishing out billions of dollars of his own money to associates, asking only for the odd 'political favour' in return, the fixture list has been rather generous to us this season.
With a ten point gap developing between the top teams and the best of the rest, the title chase is currently looking like a three-horse race, although there is still time for that to change. So while the suitors of fourth place (currently Tottenham, Manchester City, Liverpool and Aston Villa) knock on the Champions League's door in anticipation of the big August Qualifier Ball - jostling in their tuxes, clawing flowerheads out of their rivals' bouquets and trying to ruin each other's painstakingly waxed hairstyles - the top three are taking it in turns to edge a point clear for a few days and borrow the plaudits.
Chelsea are looking like the team to beat, although a new defensive fragility seems to be creeping into the team; meanwhile, Manchester United's form has so far been about as consistent as Rio Ferdinand's career priorities. We've been on blinding form in the league since that 3-0 home defeat to Chelsea back in November and are currently in the ascendancy; and the big clashes over the next three weeks are likely to shape the rest of our title challenge.
So to keep us all in good spirits before our trip to Aston Villa on Wednesday, here are a few reasons why we can finally win this thing again.
---
Extra Domestic Fixtures
Arsenal have sixteen remaining league fixtures, and no other domestic games.
Manchester United have fifteen remaining league fixtures (seven home, eight away), and play City in the League Cup semi-final second leg on Wednesday, which makes it sixteen. With home advantage and an away goal, they have a good chance of reaching the final, which would give them one extra match - and to Sir Alex, an important one for which he would prepare carefully and rest players. Not exactly a massive difference, but I'd imagine they'll have so much injury time along the way that United's energetic, highly motivated workhorse Dimitar Berbatov might devolve into a dawdling, lethargic goal hanger.
Chelsea, on the other hand, may have several more matches to play. They have seventeen remaining league fixtures (eight home, nine away), and play Cardiff at home in the FA Cup fifth round. With Arsenal, United, Liverpool, and Everton all out, they have a huge opportunity to reach the final. This would mean three extra matches (four on the off-chance that Cardiff hold them to a draw and force a replay), meaning there's a good possibility that they will play four more domestic games than Arsenal. As with United's Carling Cup tie(s), they will be taking these seriously, and the likes of Michael Ballack might need the odd nap. If they can avoid another FA Cup giant-killing, Chelsea's fixture list in the closing stages of the season could be nearly as busy as their transfer activity this summer... oh, sorry.
'Big Four' Games
Arsenal will have a considerable advantage if they're still in the title race towards the end of the season, in that they will have faced the rest of the 'Big Four' by mid-February. If anything goes wrong, they should have plenty of time to make up lost ground.
This series of fixtures will also coincide with some injury returns. Sagna and Bendtner should be back in time for Aston Villa, and Diaby should be ready for United.
As for our rivals, United play Liverpool in late March, while Chelsea travel to Anfield on May 1st. They face each other on April 3rd. These fixtures will not only come at the critical stage of the league season, but may cause problems for them if they need to rest players before or after Champions League ties.
The Run-in - Last Seven Matches
The scheduled run-in is slightly in Arsenal's favour, and could be particularly damaging to Chelsea.
Arsenal:
Birmingham (away)
Wolves (home)
Tottenham (away)
Wigan (away)
Manchester City (home)
Blackburn (away)
Fulham (home)
Chelsea:
Aston Villa (home)
Manchester United (away)
Bolton (home)
Tottenham (away)
Stoke (home)
Liverpool (away)
Wigan (home)
Manchester United:
Bolton (away)
Chelsea (home)
Blackburn (away)
Manchester City (away)
Tottenham (home)
Sunderland (away)
Stoke (home)
League Form:
Finally, a quick note about recent league form. Keep in mind that in their last eight league fixtures, each team has played against two top-seven teams:
Arsenal:
WWDWWWDW (4 points dropped)
Chelsea:
WWDDWDLW (9 points dropped)
Manchester United:
WWDWWLWL (8 points dropped)
---
Obviously, the fixture list isn't exactly the be-all and end-all of the title race, but Arsenal have usually been unlucky with the scheduling and this could be hugely helpful. With only two tournaments to focus on compared to the three pursued by both Manchester United and Chelsea, we have less distractions and fewer opportunities for injuries - although, admittedly, Theo can always find a way. Of course the Champions League could change all this, but our exit from both domestic cups means we're at less risk of spreading ourselves thin than our rivals are.
With the best recent form, and the best run-in on paper, we're in a great position. And if we emerge from the next four games with eight or nine points, we really can pull it off.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Shocker at Stoke - a blessing in a grotesque disguise?
I'm still not quite sure how to feel about that match, if I'm honest. We went out with a whimper, but after an initial fit of petulant rage comparable to Rory Delap if his ball-drying comfort blankie was taken away, I'm trying to look at the outcome of this afternoon in a positive light.
On the one hand, we were presented with a great opportunity to get our teeth into a tournament that had already seen the back of United, Liverpool, and Everton - not to mention leaving Spurs with it all to do. With Chelsea still in the mix, it wouldn't have been easy, but we had a real chance of finally hoisting the old trophy cabinet out from its current storage space; a dark, dank basement under Highbury Square, I'll wager.
But the good news is that our schedule has been blown wide open - we have 16 league matches left, and all the time in the world to plan for each Champions League fixture. Taking into account the somewhat fragile state of our squad at the moment, this could be a good opportunity for us. Having lost today, we have cut at least one or two more matches out of the fixture list; had we forced a replay, a run to the final might have added up to five extra games, all with the potential of extra time and penalties. Man United have their Carling Cup semi-final second leg coming up with every chance of reaching the final, while Chelsea will be pushing for the FA Cup and, with a home tie against Cardiff in the next round, will almost certainly reach the semi-final. Both teams will be trying to spread themselves over three competitions, increasing the likelihood of injuries, and they'll have to rest players for their Champions League fixtures against the Milan teams.
In addition, the financial rewards of FA Cup participation are always handy, but they pale in comparison to the mammoth amounts of cash we receive from the Premiership and the Champions League. Without having to juggle and rotate, we can compete for both and will have a great chance of reaching the lucrative later stages in Europe. Of course, trophies are what we're after, but I'd pick an extra round in Europe over another futile - and potentially injury-inducing - run to the FA Cup semi-finals.
As for today's match, we were simply outplayed.
Campbell had a good first-half, showing the strength and positioning needed against a physical team like Stoke, and on one particular occasion single-handedly prevented a 2-0 scoreline. He got tired in the second half, and couldn't really track back when we pushed up, but it was a promising 'start' and maybe with a couple more matches he'll build up his stamina. Silvestre had some nervy moments to begin with (ie. getting away with conceding a stonewall penalty) but grew into the game, coming back to help Fabianski a couple of times and turning in arguably his best piece of defending in an Arsenal shirt. With Rory Delap running onto a through ball, Silvestre's excellent positioning in anticipation of the move gave him time to beat his opponent to the ball. He picked up a knock from the resulting collision and was limping slightly afterwards; and I think Wenger would have brought on Bartley had he not used up all of his subs.
I usually back Wenger when he makes a seemingly senile decision (ie. the first few times he used Bendtner on the right wing, with great success) but the triple substitution wasn't one of them. Of course, he didn't fancy a replay and wanted to push for a win, but only two players were necessary at first with half an hour to go. Furthermore, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas had been one of our best performers, handling Stoke's physicality and showing off some Cesc-esque passing; with no sign of the teenager tiring, it might have been worth leaving him on and saving one attacking substitution until later. Wenger was clearly right to take Theo off though - he was very rusty and needs to get back in the swing of things - but I would have liked to have seen Rosicky come on. Out of all our 'front three' candidates (the few who are fit, anyway) he is the one who can give himself time on the ball and bring some composure to the side, something which we desperately needed in the last 20 minutes.
Carlos Vela looked quite sharp, and was unlucky not to put away a second Arsenal goal on his right foot, denied by a well-timed challenge. He wasn't actually that bad during his short stint at left-back (there's a sentence I never imagined myself saying), playing his way out and triggering a counter-attack before being restored to his position - not that I want to see him tested back there again. Armand Traore, however, put in another poor performance, largely summed up by that permanently anxious facial expression of his. He seems to have developed a habit of loitering about the touchline, vacantly watching the animated advertising hoardings with his arms crossed while the midfield sprints back to cover. Kieran Gibbs' long-term injury could be a massive blow if anything else happens to Clichy.
Cesc wasn't quite as effective as he was in his last handful of league games, but he was still one of the few things going for us and was a cut above everyone else in the middle of the park. At times he was dragging the rest of the team, although on a couple of occasions his passing was uncharacteristically sloppy. Still, this is a small criticism, and despite being up against it in a packed midfield, he was the only one regularly finding space, with JET the odd exception.
Although there was no question they deserved their win, I was less than impressed by some of Stoke's methods. Neither the ITV coverage nor the referee paid much attention to Robert Huth's early 'challenge' on Cesc Fabregas; the German effectively wrapped his arm around the Spaniard's neck and lifted him away from the ball (the ball can become a redundant feature at the Britannia). There were a few late challenges and a couple of legs left in, with local pin-up Ryan Shawcross being one of the main offenders.
Matthew Etherington landed quite heavily on Francis Coquelin's head at one point, and although I'm not suggesting it was intentional, he certainly could have avoided sinking his studs into the defender's face. Still, I know a good performance when I see one, and he ran riot against us. He's had a good season and he often got the better of Coquelin - minus one breath-taking tackle by the defensive-midfielder-turned-right-back on the touchline, with which he managed to sweep the ball clean out from the winger's feet and stop it from heading out for a throw-in. Until he was replaced by Danny Pugh, who it would appear was dragged out of a skip shortly before kick-off, he was a constant menace.
It wouldn't have had much of an effect as we were two goals down by then, but the amount of injury time was laughable and referees cannot keep giving Stoke the benefit of the doubt. Whenever Delap takes a throw-in, he picks up that rag of his and takes about a fortnight to dry the ball off. Were he a United player, the total injury time he amassed from his throw-in foreplay would have been enough to make Alex Ferguson smile, pat the fourth official on the back and return to his seat without having a coronary.
Lastly, I hate to resort to what I usually consider a petty excuse, but the pitch was shocking. It was how I would imagine the ecosystem now thriving under that cap permanently fused to Tony Pulis' head - moist and bobbly, with some weird brown patches. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Stoke kept it that way on purpose; but with the likes of Robert Huth stamping about and grazing on it, the groundsman would be forgiven for not bothering at all.
Anyway, bitterness aside, Stoke deserved their win and I hope they play that way against Manchester City in the next round. As for us, we still have a lot to be pleased about, with a slight advantage over our title rivals going into a tricky set of league fixtures. We should be looking fresh at Villa on Wednesday - time to give the league a good crack at last.
On the one hand, we were presented with a great opportunity to get our teeth into a tournament that had already seen the back of United, Liverpool, and Everton - not to mention leaving Spurs with it all to do. With Chelsea still in the mix, it wouldn't have been easy, but we had a real chance of finally hoisting the old trophy cabinet out from its current storage space; a dark, dank basement under Highbury Square, I'll wager.
But the good news is that our schedule has been blown wide open - we have 16 league matches left, and all the time in the world to plan for each Champions League fixture. Taking into account the somewhat fragile state of our squad at the moment, this could be a good opportunity for us. Having lost today, we have cut at least one or two more matches out of the fixture list; had we forced a replay, a run to the final might have added up to five extra games, all with the potential of extra time and penalties. Man United have their Carling Cup semi-final second leg coming up with every chance of reaching the final, while Chelsea will be pushing for the FA Cup and, with a home tie against Cardiff in the next round, will almost certainly reach the semi-final. Both teams will be trying to spread themselves over three competitions, increasing the likelihood of injuries, and they'll have to rest players for their Champions League fixtures against the Milan teams.
In addition, the financial rewards of FA Cup participation are always handy, but they pale in comparison to the mammoth amounts of cash we receive from the Premiership and the Champions League. Without having to juggle and rotate, we can compete for both and will have a great chance of reaching the lucrative later stages in Europe. Of course, trophies are what we're after, but I'd pick an extra round in Europe over another futile - and potentially injury-inducing - run to the FA Cup semi-finals.
As for today's match, we were simply outplayed.
Campbell had a good first-half, showing the strength and positioning needed against a physical team like Stoke, and on one particular occasion single-handedly prevented a 2-0 scoreline. He got tired in the second half, and couldn't really track back when we pushed up, but it was a promising 'start' and maybe with a couple more matches he'll build up his stamina. Silvestre had some nervy moments to begin with (ie. getting away with conceding a stonewall penalty) but grew into the game, coming back to help Fabianski a couple of times and turning in arguably his best piece of defending in an Arsenal shirt. With Rory Delap running onto a through ball, Silvestre's excellent positioning in anticipation of the move gave him time to beat his opponent to the ball. He picked up a knock from the resulting collision and was limping slightly afterwards; and I think Wenger would have brought on Bartley had he not used up all of his subs.
I usually back Wenger when he makes a seemingly senile decision (ie. the first few times he used Bendtner on the right wing, with great success) but the triple substitution wasn't one of them. Of course, he didn't fancy a replay and wanted to push for a win, but only two players were necessary at first with half an hour to go. Furthermore, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas had been one of our best performers, handling Stoke's physicality and showing off some Cesc-esque passing; with no sign of the teenager tiring, it might have been worth leaving him on and saving one attacking substitution until later. Wenger was clearly right to take Theo off though - he was very rusty and needs to get back in the swing of things - but I would have liked to have seen Rosicky come on. Out of all our 'front three' candidates (the few who are fit, anyway) he is the one who can give himself time on the ball and bring some composure to the side, something which we desperately needed in the last 20 minutes.
Carlos Vela looked quite sharp, and was unlucky not to put away a second Arsenal goal on his right foot, denied by a well-timed challenge. He wasn't actually that bad during his short stint at left-back (there's a sentence I never imagined myself saying), playing his way out and triggering a counter-attack before being restored to his position - not that I want to see him tested back there again. Armand Traore, however, put in another poor performance, largely summed up by that permanently anxious facial expression of his. He seems to have developed a habit of loitering about the touchline, vacantly watching the animated advertising hoardings with his arms crossed while the midfield sprints back to cover. Kieran Gibbs' long-term injury could be a massive blow if anything else happens to Clichy.
Cesc wasn't quite as effective as he was in his last handful of league games, but he was still one of the few things going for us and was a cut above everyone else in the middle of the park. At times he was dragging the rest of the team, although on a couple of occasions his passing was uncharacteristically sloppy. Still, this is a small criticism, and despite being up against it in a packed midfield, he was the only one regularly finding space, with JET the odd exception.
Although there was no question they deserved their win, I was less than impressed by some of Stoke's methods. Neither the ITV coverage nor the referee paid much attention to Robert Huth's early 'challenge' on Cesc Fabregas; the German effectively wrapped his arm around the Spaniard's neck and lifted him away from the ball (the ball can become a redundant feature at the Britannia). There were a few late challenges and a couple of legs left in, with local pin-up Ryan Shawcross being one of the main offenders.
Matthew Etherington landed quite heavily on Francis Coquelin's head at one point, and although I'm not suggesting it was intentional, he certainly could have avoided sinking his studs into the defender's face. Still, I know a good performance when I see one, and he ran riot against us. He's had a good season and he often got the better of Coquelin - minus one breath-taking tackle by the defensive-midfielder-turned-right-back on the touchline, with which he managed to sweep the ball clean out from the winger's feet and stop it from heading out for a throw-in. Until he was replaced by Danny Pugh, who it would appear was dragged out of a skip shortly before kick-off, he was a constant menace.
It wouldn't have had much of an effect as we were two goals down by then, but the amount of injury time was laughable and referees cannot keep giving Stoke the benefit of the doubt. Whenever Delap takes a throw-in, he picks up that rag of his and takes about a fortnight to dry the ball off. Were he a United player, the total injury time he amassed from his throw-in foreplay would have been enough to make Alex Ferguson smile, pat the fourth official on the back and return to his seat without having a coronary.
Lastly, I hate to resort to what I usually consider a petty excuse, but the pitch was shocking. It was how I would imagine the ecosystem now thriving under that cap permanently fused to Tony Pulis' head - moist and bobbly, with some weird brown patches. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Stoke kept it that way on purpose; but with the likes of Robert Huth stamping about and grazing on it, the groundsman would be forgiven for not bothering at all.
Anyway, bitterness aside, Stoke deserved their win and I hope they play that way against Manchester City in the next round. As for us, we still have a lot to be pleased about, with a slight advantage over our title rivals going into a tricky set of league fixtures. We should be looking fresh at Villa on Wednesday - time to give the league a good crack at last.
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Abou Diaby and Johan Djourou in 'Injury Ward II'
(Sketch)
"Welcome back, Abou," Gary O'Driscoll beamed, opening the door to the injury ward and stepping aside. "Hello, Bakary, I haven't seen you in a while."
Diaby ducked his head and limped through the door. Standing upright, he paused for a moment to survey the ward and take in the familiar, sterile scent of gauze bandaging and iodine. He smiled contentedly, pleased to be back in the place he used to call home.
Taking a step forward, he momentarily lost his balance; he leaned on Sagna for support, only to aggravate the full-back's shoulder injury.
"Merde!" Sagna snapped, his braids swaying in indignation. He grasped his shoulder and glared at the midfielder, who remained completely oblivious.
"Come along, Abou," O'Driscoll beckoned. "We've still got your bed."
At the far side of the injury ward, the aisle between the two rows of beds ended with one larger bed, approximately three times their size. It stretched from one wall to the other, with several mattresses squeezed together to support the midfielder's considerable frame.
Diaby smiled and headed briskly across the ward. The floor shook with each step, his long legs striding clumsily across the aisle and crashing into various medical instruments.
"Abou, be careful -" O'Driscoll called, running after him. With a remarkable dexterity that could only have come from nearly a year of working with Abou Diaby, Nicklas Bendtner and Philippe Senderos, he darted back and forth across the aisle, catching various objects as they fell.
Having returned them to their original places, and steadied a pile of paperwork emblazoned with the Athletico Madrid letterhead at the end of Fran Merida's bed, O'Driscoll wiped his forehead and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Abou, NO!"
The midfielder had caught his foot on the wires connecting Johan Djourou to his life support machine, ripping them out of their sockets. He was now dragging the defender's lifeless body in his wake.
"Stop, Abou!" O'Driscoll called, hurrying after the monstrous Frenchman. Completely ignored, he seized a clipboard and threw it in the manner of a frisbee at the midfielder's back. It clattered noisily against him, in what looked like an extremely painful blow - but Diaby carried on, completely unaware. Djourou was now bouncing back and forth across the aisle, his head smashing into bedposts and his limbs becoming entangled in the wires attached to Diaby's foot.
"Gary, try this!" Kieran Gibbs shouted as he threw a football to the doctor.
O'Driscoll was puzzled. "How is this going to help?!"
"His head!" the entire ward screamed.
The doctor could have kicked himself for forgetting. Diaby had a phobia of headers - the entire league knew it. "Here Bakary, aim for his head!" He rolled the ball towards the full-back and leapt out of the way. "Just cross it!"
Sagna puffed out his cheeks, took a short run-up and, glancing at Diaby's head to take aim, connected with the ball.
It was wildly off target. Smashing into the ceiling and showering the ward with shards of mineral fibre, the ball ricocheted off the walls and wreaked havoc amongst the beds. Robin van Persie's liquid dinner splattered the walls, Fran Merida's contract offers span across the room, and Kieran Gibbs' box of Disney plasters tumbled to the floor.
But, miraculously, it reached the end of the ward and bounced back towards Diaby. Panic in his eyes, the giant Frenchman covered his head with his hands and dived to the floor, his foot coming loose of the cables. He threw himself under his colossal bed and peeked out, waiting for the aerial threat to subside before he re-emerged.
O'Driscoll dragged Djourou's comatosed body back to his bed, and deftly re-attached the defender to his life support machine. Stepping back to check that his heartbeat was regular, and that his body had suffered no further damage during Diaby's rampage, he turned to face Sagna.
"Bakary, that was awful! Why does Arsene keep -"
He was interrupted by the sound of slow clapping from the doorway. The whole ward turned to see their manager enter the room, smiling from ear to ear.
"Excellente, Bakary."
O'Driscoll stepped forward. "Arsene, we just had a minor incident concerning Johan, but he seems fine. It shouldn't affect his recovery."
Wenger was perplexed. "Johan?"
"Johan Djourou? The centre-back? He should still be fit for next season."
Wenger's eyes bulged, as Sol Campbell and Chris Smalling entered the room.
"Boss, are you going to show us the rest of the complex?" Campbell enquired.
Wenger paused. "Sol... what did you say it was that went wrong at Notts County?"
"Welcome back, Abou," Gary O'Driscoll beamed, opening the door to the injury ward and stepping aside. "Hello, Bakary, I haven't seen you in a while."
Diaby ducked his head and limped through the door. Standing upright, he paused for a moment to survey the ward and take in the familiar, sterile scent of gauze bandaging and iodine. He smiled contentedly, pleased to be back in the place he used to call home.
Taking a step forward, he momentarily lost his balance; he leaned on Sagna for support, only to aggravate the full-back's shoulder injury.
"Merde!" Sagna snapped, his braids swaying in indignation. He grasped his shoulder and glared at the midfielder, who remained completely oblivious.
"Come along, Abou," O'Driscoll beckoned. "We've still got your bed."
At the far side of the injury ward, the aisle between the two rows of beds ended with one larger bed, approximately three times their size. It stretched from one wall to the other, with several mattresses squeezed together to support the midfielder's considerable frame.
Diaby smiled and headed briskly across the ward. The floor shook with each step, his long legs striding clumsily across the aisle and crashing into various medical instruments.
"Abou, be careful -" O'Driscoll called, running after him. With a remarkable dexterity that could only have come from nearly a year of working with Abou Diaby, Nicklas Bendtner and Philippe Senderos, he darted back and forth across the aisle, catching various objects as they fell.
Having returned them to their original places, and steadied a pile of paperwork emblazoned with the Athletico Madrid letterhead at the end of Fran Merida's bed, O'Driscoll wiped his forehead and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Abou, NO!"
The midfielder had caught his foot on the wires connecting Johan Djourou to his life support machine, ripping them out of their sockets. He was now dragging the defender's lifeless body in his wake.
"Stop, Abou!" O'Driscoll called, hurrying after the monstrous Frenchman. Completely ignored, he seized a clipboard and threw it in the manner of a frisbee at the midfielder's back. It clattered noisily against him, in what looked like an extremely painful blow - but Diaby carried on, completely unaware. Djourou was now bouncing back and forth across the aisle, his head smashing into bedposts and his limbs becoming entangled in the wires attached to Diaby's foot.
"Gary, try this!" Kieran Gibbs shouted as he threw a football to the doctor.
O'Driscoll was puzzled. "How is this going to help?!"
"His head!" the entire ward screamed.
The doctor could have kicked himself for forgetting. Diaby had a phobia of headers - the entire league knew it. "Here Bakary, aim for his head!" He rolled the ball towards the full-back and leapt out of the way. "Just cross it!"
Sagna puffed out his cheeks, took a short run-up and, glancing at Diaby's head to take aim, connected with the ball.
It was wildly off target. Smashing into the ceiling and showering the ward with shards of mineral fibre, the ball ricocheted off the walls and wreaked havoc amongst the beds. Robin van Persie's liquid dinner splattered the walls, Fran Merida's contract offers span across the room, and Kieran Gibbs' box of Disney plasters tumbled to the floor.
But, miraculously, it reached the end of the ward and bounced back towards Diaby. Panic in his eyes, the giant Frenchman covered his head with his hands and dived to the floor, his foot coming loose of the cables. He threw himself under his colossal bed and peeked out, waiting for the aerial threat to subside before he re-emerged.
O'Driscoll dragged Djourou's comatosed body back to his bed, and deftly re-attached the defender to his life support machine. Stepping back to check that his heartbeat was regular, and that his body had suffered no further damage during Diaby's rampage, he turned to face Sagna.
"Bakary, that was awful! Why does Arsene keep -"
He was interrupted by the sound of slow clapping from the doorway. The whole ward turned to see their manager enter the room, smiling from ear to ear.
"Excellente, Bakary."
O'Driscoll stepped forward. "Arsene, we just had a minor incident concerning Johan, but he seems fine. It shouldn't affect his recovery."
Wenger was perplexed. "Johan?"
"Johan Djourou? The centre-back? He should still be fit for next season."
Wenger's eyes bulged, as Sol Campbell and Chris Smalling entered the room.
"Boss, are you going to show us the rest of the complex?" Campbell enquired.
Wenger paused. "Sol... what did you say it was that went wrong at Notts County?"
A peculiar Arsenal team will hobble up to the Britannia Stadium tomorrow
We'll be travelling north tomorrow with a squad about as weakened as Owen Coyle's case against Gallas when he remembered that Jack Wilshere is available on loan, and Stoke are no pushovers. It will be a tricky one, but a win would give the team another confidence boost heading into a vital (and congested) series of fixtures.
Sagna, Gibbs, Djourou, Diaby, Ramsey, Merida, Nasri, Bendtner, and van Persie are all out (as well as Song and Eboue at the ACN), giving us little choice but to field a few Carling Cup players. Right-back will be the most interesting position, with Coquelin and Eastmond in contention for Sagna's place. Considering Wenger's comments earlier in the season about Eastmond's pace, or lack thereof, I would expect Coquelin to fill in at the back and Eastmond to return to his holding role.
Walcott should be ready to zip about the right-flank for at least a few minutes, until he stops looking where he's going and crashes into one of Stoke's various defensive bollards. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he will point despairingly at the graze on his knee; Colin Lewin and the entire team of physios will dash onto the pitch, and after several minutes of poking and prodding, will come to the inevitable conclusion that the young winger has picked up a chronic boo-boo and will be out for several weeks.
New old boy Sol Campbell should make his debut, and a fixture against Stoke is probably ideal for his return to proper football. Portsmouth fans are still scratching their heads over Wenger's decision to re-sign him, the general consensus at Fratton Park being that, towards the end of his last season on the south coast, they would have been better off starting each match with ten men and a grand oak table strategically placed on the 18 yard line. But Campbell reckons his fitness is better now than when he left in the summer of 2006 at the more Premier Leaguey age of 31, and evidently Wenger concurs. After six months of solid, world-class training at London Colney, he should be in much better shape than he was during his Notts County day(s), where a reliable source informs me that his fitness sessions were conducted by an old man and his decrepit border collie.
I'm still unsure about whether we should be giving poor old Senderos the boot. It would appear that he's got confused on his way out and is now pawing anxiously at the door to a broom cupboard, but the official Arsenal website reckons he's finally sorted out a loan switch to Everton. It will be a shame if he eventually leaves at the end of his contract; but in the meantime, Campbell's experience and influence could be vital both in the dressing room and in our headless-chicken-infested final third, and I look forward to seeing how he does.
My predicted line-up:
Fabianski
Coquelin
Clichy
Campbell
Vermaelen
Eastmond
Denilson
Rosicky
Walcott
Vela
Eduardo
A fairly balanced team age-wise, with experience in all the right areas.
I can see Gallas, Fabregas and Arshavin all being left out, which might be a necessary risk. So far this season, Gallas has shaken off more injuries than an improbably macho Hollywood character, while Arshavin has also carried on playing with the odd knock. Although we won't want another nervy tie after our come-back at West Ham, Wenger knows he can't use them in all of the next five games, so a tiny bit of rotation in this and the Villa game might be needed.
So our bench will depend on who Wenger wants to rest until necessary, and who he wants to leave out altogether. Silvestre will, most likely, be our back-up in central defence, and JET might finally get a run-out. Traore will be available to 'help out' either at left-back or on the left-wing if needed, and Wilshere will almost certainly be in the squad. With Mannone acting as back-up goalkeeper, this leaves two places.
Rumour has it that Gilles Sunu, a real physical presence up front, might be in the squad, in addition to what would be a rather redundant fourth centre-back, Kyle Bartley. However, unless Wenger wants to throw away the chance of winning an already Liverpool- and United-less FA Cup, Fabregas and Arshavin should be ready to come on if needed.
Here's hoping for a few Cupsets today and a good, non-heart-attack-inducing win at the Britannia tomorrow.
Sagna, Gibbs, Djourou, Diaby, Ramsey, Merida, Nasri, Bendtner, and van Persie are all out (as well as Song and Eboue at the ACN), giving us little choice but to field a few Carling Cup players. Right-back will be the most interesting position, with Coquelin and Eastmond in contention for Sagna's place. Considering Wenger's comments earlier in the season about Eastmond's pace, or lack thereof, I would expect Coquelin to fill in at the back and Eastmond to return to his holding role.
Walcott should be ready to zip about the right-flank for at least a few minutes, until he stops looking where he's going and crashes into one of Stoke's various defensive bollards. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he will point despairingly at the graze on his knee; Colin Lewin and the entire team of physios will dash onto the pitch, and after several minutes of poking and prodding, will come to the inevitable conclusion that the young winger has picked up a chronic boo-boo and will be out for several weeks.
New old boy Sol Campbell should make his debut, and a fixture against Stoke is probably ideal for his return to proper football. Portsmouth fans are still scratching their heads over Wenger's decision to re-sign him, the general consensus at Fratton Park being that, towards the end of his last season on the south coast, they would have been better off starting each match with ten men and a grand oak table strategically placed on the 18 yard line. But Campbell reckons his fitness is better now than when he left in the summer of 2006 at the more Premier Leaguey age of 31, and evidently Wenger concurs. After six months of solid, world-class training at London Colney, he should be in much better shape than he was during his Notts County day(s), where a reliable source informs me that his fitness sessions were conducted by an old man and his decrepit border collie.
I'm still unsure about whether we should be giving poor old Senderos the boot. It would appear that he's got confused on his way out and is now pawing anxiously at the door to a broom cupboard, but the official Arsenal website reckons he's finally sorted out a loan switch to Everton. It will be a shame if he eventually leaves at the end of his contract; but in the meantime, Campbell's experience and influence could be vital both in the dressing room and in our headless-chicken-infested final third, and I look forward to seeing how he does.
My predicted line-up:
Fabianski
Coquelin
Clichy
Campbell
Vermaelen
Eastmond
Denilson
Rosicky
Walcott
Vela
Eduardo
A fairly balanced team age-wise, with experience in all the right areas.
I can see Gallas, Fabregas and Arshavin all being left out, which might be a necessary risk. So far this season, Gallas has shaken off more injuries than an improbably macho Hollywood character, while Arshavin has also carried on playing with the odd knock. Although we won't want another nervy tie after our come-back at West Ham, Wenger knows he can't use them in all of the next five games, so a tiny bit of rotation in this and the Villa game might be needed.
So our bench will depend on who Wenger wants to rest until necessary, and who he wants to leave out altogether. Silvestre will, most likely, be our back-up in central defence, and JET might finally get a run-out. Traore will be available to 'help out' either at left-back or on the left-wing if needed, and Wilshere will almost certainly be in the squad. With Mannone acting as back-up goalkeeper, this leaves two places.
Rumour has it that Gilles Sunu, a real physical presence up front, might be in the squad, in addition to what would be a rather redundant fourth centre-back, Kyle Bartley. However, unless Wenger wants to throw away the chance of winning an already Liverpool- and United-less FA Cup, Fabregas and Arshavin should be ready to come on if needed.
Here's hoping for a few Cupsets today and a good, non-heart-attack-inducing win at the Britannia tomorrow.
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Arsenal find the missing ingredient at last
This time last year, Arsenal were about to set off on a disastrous series of results in the league. Between January 17th and March 3rd, they couldn't have bought a win if a corrupt Russian oligarch had bought the club, settled all of its debts, and ordered the mass 'disappearance' of the rest of the Premier League's leading players. Champions League qualification looked increasingly unrealistic, and even West Brom, fighting in vain against inevitable relegation, would have been livid with some of these results.
1-1 at Everton in the league, after van Persie's last minute equaliser.
0-0 at home to West Ham.
0-0 at Spurs.
0-0 at home to Sunderland.
0-0 at home to Fulham.
And then we beat West Brom. In the next fixture, an Andrei-Arshavin-inspired 4-0 home win against Sizeable Sam's blundering Blackburn would secure our first home league win in 63 days and trigger a late surge of wins that would eventually secure fourth place. However, our Russian-less Champions League and FA Cup campaigns (why?!) would ultimately self-destruct and bring about another trophyless anti-climax.
A year later, things are looking pretty good. In nine league games since our surreal home defeat to Chelsea, we've picked up 23 out of a possible 27 points, which is a great run of form compared to Chelsea's 12 out of 21 and Man United's 16 out of 24. Chelsea have an away game in hand to leapfrog their way back to the top, but we have scored more goals than anyone in the competition, have the joint best goal difference, and - the most un-Arsenal-like of all - have the best away record out of all 20 teams. We have a long way to go, and we still have to play the other big clubs again, but this is a massive improvement on last season.
Last night was further testament to a new, resilient mindset within the Arsenal squad. With more experience in the team (the average age of the starting line-up was 26, and several of these players have birthdays in the next few weeks), they showed the bite and determination that we saw at the Reebok, and proved that they have finally developed the mentality to challenge for a title.
Of course, the match didn't start well. Back from injury in place of the less-than-impressive Traore, Clichy ensured it was a smooth, unnoticeable transition - by getting himself in trouble, attempting to make some sort of vertical clearance, and leaving the rest of his defence with little chance of stopping Bolton's first goal. Denilson didn't really help matters by getting into the Bolton swing of things in his own penalty area and seemingly trying to take possession of Lee's foot instead of the ball. Almunia, who had previously made an outstanding save from a free-kick, very nearly kept out the penalty, but nevertheless we found ourselves two goals down when our target going into the game was, at the very least, the reverse scoreline.
With two minutes left of the first half, Rosicky put away a great curling shot from just inside the area to give us the boost we needed going in for the break; although in fairness, to say that Jaaskelainen was ball-watching would have been an understatement.
I will admit that Gallas' challenge on Mark Davies in the buildup to our equaliser was about as easy on the eye as Carlos Tevez flossing, and reports that the Bolton midfielder left the stadium on crutches made it pretty clear that the incident shouldn't have escaped the referee's notice. However, I agree with Wenger's defence of his players - watching the replay, you can see that no one in the Bolton third has any idea what happened behind them, and they could only play on. No one can accuse Wenger of hypocrisy, considering that he told Denilson only ten days ago that he should have handled the ball when he collapsed, as Everton were under no obligation to stop play.
Anyway, Fabregas finished the move very well, although he had a bit of luck along the way from a couple of deflected passes. Most of all, we can thank the proficiency of the three Bolton defenders following hopelessly in the Spaniard's wake like a flustered Laporta waddling after him with his trousers round his ankles.
I re-watched the third goal about forty times. When Vermaelen makes the initial header and re-enters the atmosphere from that obscenely high jump of his, he loses sight of the ball; disoriented and confused, he spins around with fury in his eyes, only for the ball to bounce back into ample space for him to put away a cracker of a shot. The slow motion replay demands to be accompanied by the well-known circus tune, 'Entry of the Gladiators'.
The final goal confirmed a recent suspicion of mine - that Arshavin and Eduardo have forged something of an understanding on the pitch, which after a few more games together could become borderline telepathic. Again, a Bolton defender played the key ball, but the rapid exchange of passes between the Russian and the Crozilian was a sight to behold, and I hope to see more of that in the big fixtures coming up.
Last night made it six wins in our last seven matches, and it remains to be seen how the rest of the transfer window pans out for us. Wenger should take into account that most of these matches came against lesser opponents than those who we will face over the next three weeks, but I get the feeling that he's not going to find his ideal, godlike, yet easily affordable striker with low wage demands and eligibility for European competition.
At the moment, however, Wenger's transfer activity over the summer is looking like pure genius: out with the lazy, laughable, lanky lout of a striker, out with the centre-back who, to the detriment of our defensive record, literally wouldn't go within 50 yards of his partner; and in with a bargain world-class defender (with a better eye for goal than said striker) plus a hefty £30 million profit.
One shored up back-line, one tactical re-shuffle, and one restored dressing room atmosphere later, and we're still challenging for honours as we approach the critical part of our league fixture list.
1-1 at Everton in the league, after van Persie's last minute equaliser.
0-0 at home to West Ham.
0-0 at Spurs.
0-0 at home to Sunderland.
0-0 at home to Fulham.
And then we beat West Brom. In the next fixture, an Andrei-Arshavin-inspired 4-0 home win against Sizeable Sam's blundering Blackburn would secure our first home league win in 63 days and trigger a late surge of wins that would eventually secure fourth place. However, our Russian-less Champions League and FA Cup campaigns (why?!) would ultimately self-destruct and bring about another trophyless anti-climax.
A year later, things are looking pretty good. In nine league games since our surreal home defeat to Chelsea, we've picked up 23 out of a possible 27 points, which is a great run of form compared to Chelsea's 12 out of 21 and Man United's 16 out of 24. Chelsea have an away game in hand to leapfrog their way back to the top, but we have scored more goals than anyone in the competition, have the joint best goal difference, and - the most un-Arsenal-like of all - have the best away record out of all 20 teams. We have a long way to go, and we still have to play the other big clubs again, but this is a massive improvement on last season.
Last night was further testament to a new, resilient mindset within the Arsenal squad. With more experience in the team (the average age of the starting line-up was 26, and several of these players have birthdays in the next few weeks), they showed the bite and determination that we saw at the Reebok, and proved that they have finally developed the mentality to challenge for a title.
Of course, the match didn't start well. Back from injury in place of the less-than-impressive Traore, Clichy ensured it was a smooth, unnoticeable transition - by getting himself in trouble, attempting to make some sort of vertical clearance, and leaving the rest of his defence with little chance of stopping Bolton's first goal. Denilson didn't really help matters by getting into the Bolton swing of things in his own penalty area and seemingly trying to take possession of Lee's foot instead of the ball. Almunia, who had previously made an outstanding save from a free-kick, very nearly kept out the penalty, but nevertheless we found ourselves two goals down when our target going into the game was, at the very least, the reverse scoreline.
With two minutes left of the first half, Rosicky put away a great curling shot from just inside the area to give us the boost we needed going in for the break; although in fairness, to say that Jaaskelainen was ball-watching would have been an understatement.
I will admit that Gallas' challenge on Mark Davies in the buildup to our equaliser was about as easy on the eye as Carlos Tevez flossing, and reports that the Bolton midfielder left the stadium on crutches made it pretty clear that the incident shouldn't have escaped the referee's notice. However, I agree with Wenger's defence of his players - watching the replay, you can see that no one in the Bolton third has any idea what happened behind them, and they could only play on. No one can accuse Wenger of hypocrisy, considering that he told Denilson only ten days ago that he should have handled the ball when he collapsed, as Everton were under no obligation to stop play.
Anyway, Fabregas finished the move very well, although he had a bit of luck along the way from a couple of deflected passes. Most of all, we can thank the proficiency of the three Bolton defenders following hopelessly in the Spaniard's wake like a flustered Laporta waddling after him with his trousers round his ankles.
I re-watched the third goal about forty times. When Vermaelen makes the initial header and re-enters the atmosphere from that obscenely high jump of his, he loses sight of the ball; disoriented and confused, he spins around with fury in his eyes, only for the ball to bounce back into ample space for him to put away a cracker of a shot. The slow motion replay demands to be accompanied by the well-known circus tune, 'Entry of the Gladiators'.
The final goal confirmed a recent suspicion of mine - that Arshavin and Eduardo have forged something of an understanding on the pitch, which after a few more games together could become borderline telepathic. Again, a Bolton defender played the key ball, but the rapid exchange of passes between the Russian and the Crozilian was a sight to behold, and I hope to see more of that in the big fixtures coming up.
Last night made it six wins in our last seven matches, and it remains to be seen how the rest of the transfer window pans out for us. Wenger should take into account that most of these matches came against lesser opponents than those who we will face over the next three weeks, but I get the feeling that he's not going to find his ideal, godlike, yet easily affordable striker with low wage demands and eligibility for European competition.
At the moment, however, Wenger's transfer activity over the summer is looking like pure genius: out with the lazy, laughable, lanky lout of a striker, out with the centre-back who, to the detriment of our defensive record, literally wouldn't go within 50 yards of his partner; and in with a bargain world-class defender (with a better eye for goal than said striker) plus a hefty £30 million profit.
One shored up back-line, one tactical re-shuffle, and one restored dressing room atmosphere later, and we're still challenging for honours as we approach the critical part of our league fixture list.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Liars, Inquiries, Rumours and Expiries
Firstly, hats off to the Bolton fans who visited this site in the last 24 hours, most of whom were good sports about the last article and took it all in good stride. I'm a fan of Owen Coyle, and after a great response from the Bolton lot, I wish them good luck - only after tonight, of course, as I have a bit of a soft spot for the home team.
As for recent news, Samuel Galindo has been accused of lying about his age, after a Bolivian TV channel published an image of what they claim is his real passport. Apparently, what we thought to be a 17-year-old wonder-kid is in fact a 20-year-old wonder-post-pubescent, so we can all look forward to those sharp-witted Spurs fans singing 'Same old Arsenal' at the wrong ground tonight. In any case, it makes you wonder just how many players have had their birthdays edited for the sake of their careers.
Coming soon, perhaps, a Daily Telegraph inquiry into the real ages of Arjen Robben, Pepe Reina, and Joleon Lescott - but not Wayne Rooney. Commentators and TV pundits would insist that 45-year-old former factory worker Rooney was simply lying about his age because of his tenacity and desire to win, just like when he bravely throws himself face-first onto the ground when a lesser player would avoid that opposition player ten yards away from him.
Not much has changed in terms of team news. Fran Merida is out, but Denilson is back from injury, and I expect he'll be thrown straight back into the starting line-up. It's a relief to see it wasn't a bad one, and hopefully from now on he'll maintain the level of fitness that saw him through the entirety of last season. Having said that, it's a shame that we might not get another chance to see what Craig Eastmond can do tonight, more so that Jay Emmanuel-Thomas will probably stay on the bench again. This could have been an ideal opportunity to give the midfield youngsters a run out, provided that we were in a comfortable position towards the end of the game. Judging from last Sunday, however, it might not be so easy.
Coyle almost certainly hasn't had enough time to impose his style on the Bolton team, but they'll all have the motivation they need with places to fight for. Kevin Davies has always been a tricky one, while Tamir Cohen is a good prospect and Matt Taylor looked quite dangerous on Sunday when he wasn't playing his ambitious variation of Crossbar Challenge with the Reebok Stadium framework. Fabrice Muamba may be given the holding role if Coyle goes for a 4-5-1, as some of the papers would have you believe, and I think he could do a job screening the defence. But I think Coyle would be more likely to stick to a 4-4-2, if he hasn't learned to rein in his adventurous gameplan when playing away from home, considering Burnley's disastrous away form.
Lastly, a spot of transfer news. Rumours that we're on the verge of signing Fulham's 14-foot-tall defender Chris Smalling have been flowing faster than a 3 litre box of red wine down Sir Alex's esophagus, and almost every media outlet seems to be carrying the story. Knowing Wenger, it's unlikely that he would sign three centre-backs in one season, but if the reports turn out to be true then I'm glad we're giving the future of our defence more consideration. I've watched him play a few times and thought he looked dependable and composed both on and off the ball, but my knowledge of him is somewhat lacking. If anyone knows any more about him, let us know.
Celtic have played down talk that they'll be signing Senderos on loan, which came as a surprise to me. Asked about the progress in talks with the centre-back, Mowbray came out with a line you'll all be familiar with - "We have an interest in many players, I would suggest. For whatever reason, that came out today but that is only one enquiry of many that we have asked about." He might have managed a world-class defence during his time at West Brom, but Senderos would be a great signing for Celtic and I'd expect a bit more enthusiasm. Anyway, Senderos has 11 days to decide what to do, and if he's definitely leaving us before next season, this is our only chance to get some money for him. Unless Wenger wants him to run down his contract on loan at another club before leaving on a free, he had better get to work on one of those £3-million-plus-every-penny-any-other-club-makes-off-him-ever deals that have served us so well recently.
That's it for this afternoon, hopefully by my return we'll be sitting at the top of the pile!
Bolton's bizarre plan to stop Arsenal
As for recent news, Samuel Galindo has been accused of lying about his age, after a Bolivian TV channel published an image of what they claim is his real passport. Apparently, what we thought to be a 17-year-old wonder-kid is in fact a 20-year-old wonder-post-pubescent, so we can all look forward to those sharp-witted Spurs fans singing 'Same old Arsenal' at the wrong ground tonight. In any case, it makes you wonder just how many players have had their birthdays edited for the sake of their careers.
Coming soon, perhaps, a Daily Telegraph inquiry into the real ages of Arjen Robben, Pepe Reina, and Joleon Lescott - but not Wayne Rooney. Commentators and TV pundits would insist that 45-year-old former factory worker Rooney was simply lying about his age because of his tenacity and desire to win, just like when he bravely throws himself face-first onto the ground when a lesser player would avoid that opposition player ten yards away from him.
Not much has changed in terms of team news. Fran Merida is out, but Denilson is back from injury, and I expect he'll be thrown straight back into the starting line-up. It's a relief to see it wasn't a bad one, and hopefully from now on he'll maintain the level of fitness that saw him through the entirety of last season. Having said that, it's a shame that we might not get another chance to see what Craig Eastmond can do tonight, more so that Jay Emmanuel-Thomas will probably stay on the bench again. This could have been an ideal opportunity to give the midfield youngsters a run out, provided that we were in a comfortable position towards the end of the game. Judging from last Sunday, however, it might not be so easy.
Coyle almost certainly hasn't had enough time to impose his style on the Bolton team, but they'll all have the motivation they need with places to fight for. Kevin Davies has always been a tricky one, while Tamir Cohen is a good prospect and Matt Taylor looked quite dangerous on Sunday when he wasn't playing his ambitious variation of Crossbar Challenge with the Reebok Stadium framework. Fabrice Muamba may be given the holding role if Coyle goes for a 4-5-1, as some of the papers would have you believe, and I think he could do a job screening the defence. But I think Coyle would be more likely to stick to a 4-4-2, if he hasn't learned to rein in his adventurous gameplan when playing away from home, considering Burnley's disastrous away form.
Lastly, a spot of transfer news. Rumours that we're on the verge of signing Fulham's 14-foot-tall defender Chris Smalling have been flowing faster than a 3 litre box of red wine down Sir Alex's esophagus, and almost every media outlet seems to be carrying the story. Knowing Wenger, it's unlikely that he would sign three centre-backs in one season, but if the reports turn out to be true then I'm glad we're giving the future of our defence more consideration. I've watched him play a few times and thought he looked dependable and composed both on and off the ball, but my knowledge of him is somewhat lacking. If anyone knows any more about him, let us know.
Celtic have played down talk that they'll be signing Senderos on loan, which came as a surprise to me. Asked about the progress in talks with the centre-back, Mowbray came out with a line you'll all be familiar with - "We have an interest in many players, I would suggest. For whatever reason, that came out today but that is only one enquiry of many that we have asked about." He might have managed a world-class defence during his time at West Brom, but Senderos would be a great signing for Celtic and I'd expect a bit more enthusiasm. Anyway, Senderos has 11 days to decide what to do, and if he's definitely leaving us before next season, this is our only chance to get some money for him. Unless Wenger wants him to run down his contract on loan at another club before leaving on a free, he had better get to work on one of those £3-million-plus-every-penny-any-other-club-makes-off-him-ever deals that have served us so well recently.
That's it for this afternoon, hopefully by my return we'll be sitting at the top of the pile!
Bolton's bizarre plan to stop Arsenal
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Owen Coyle and the Bolton players in 'The Passing Game'
(Sketch)
"Okay boys, listen up," Owen Coyle shouted, jogging out onto the Bolton training pitch with a ball at his feet. He was the embodiment of optimism after his side's spirited performance against Arsenal, his demeanour at odds with the bleak mists enshrouding the complex. His eyes twinkled lightly like the morning dew through which he happily cantered, and his relaxed smile exuded an aura of positive calm.
Spotting the ball, a wild-eyed Zat Knight sprinted headlong into his manager, rugby-tackled him to the ground and attempted to strangle him. Matt Taylor stood over Coyle, tugging at his hair and preparing to kick him in the head.
The Bolton manager gagged, and with all the energy he could muster gestured feebly for help from his coaches.
"No, Matty!" Sandy Stewart bellowed, clapping his hands and whistling. "Zat, get off him!" The two players scampered out of the assistant's way as he lifted Coyle to his feet.
"Right, this is what I came over to talk to you all about," the manager yelled as he dusted himself off. "If we're going to really cope with Arsenal on Wednesday, we're going to have to change our strategy."
Kevin Davies was perplexed. "Strategy?"
"Yes, strategy," Coyle responded, forcing himself to shake off the assault and return to his previous light-hearted manner. "You know, a plan of how to approach the game. Tactics."
Davies looked enquiringly at Gavin McCann, who simply responded with a frown and a shrug.
Coyle took in the reaction of the Bolton squad; it was less than promising. Sam Ricketts was gawping absent-mindedly back at him, Andy O'Brien was scratching his head, and Paul Robinson was holding a worm and poking at it inquisitively.
"No one has heard of strategy? Tactics? Plans for how to compete in midfield, use the space, get through the opposition's backline, that kind of thing?"
There was silence.
Fabrice Muamba stepped forward and shyly raised a hand. "Mr Coyle, I think I know what you mean. Back in my Arsenal days, they taught us to pass it to one another and try to keep possession."
"Good, very good," Coyle replied, visibly relieved. "This is what I taught my Burnley team to do, and now I want to make Bolton do the same. We have to try and get ahold of the ball for as long as possible."
"What, like this, boss?"
Coyle turned to see Paul Robinson holding a ball.
"What? No, Paul, I mean you have to try and pass it to each other -"
"Oh." Robinson walked over to Zat Knight and placed the ball in his team-mate's hands. He turned back to Coyle and smiled.
His manager was less than impressed. "For God's sake. Right. Paul, Andy and Gretar, come over here. I want to go through a practice exercise."
Robinson, O'Brien and Steinsson came forward and stood in a row in front of Coyle, gathering as close together as possible and holding their hands over their groins.
"What are you all doing?" Coyle enquired, baffled by their response. He clapped his hands and gestured for them to separate. "Don't bunch up, spread out! We can't do this exercise if you're all standing next to each other."
The players each took a few steps apart, exchanging worried glances.
Andy O'Brien raised a hand. "Boss, how are we supposed to defend set-pieces if we spread out?"
Exasperated, the Bolton manager held his head in his hands. Struggling to maintain a positive outlook, he took a deep breath and looked up at O'Brien. "Andy, we're practicing something different now. You don't spend most of a football match defending set-pieces!"
"Well, Bolton do," O'Brien responded.
Coyle glared incredulously at the defender, but held his tongue and composed himself. "Okay, well not any more. We're going to work on our passing. That way, we can try and play Arsenal at their own game, and then exploit the gaps they leave when they push forward. So we'll start with a simple passing exercise." He rolled a ball to Robinson.
Panicking, Robinson hoofed the ball with all his might, sending it to the other side of the training complex.
"Paul, what the hell are you doing?!"
Robinson was doubled over, clutching his chest and catching his breath. After taking a moment to recover from the fright of having the ball at his feet, he slowly stood up and shrugged his shoulders. "If we get the ball from a set-piece, we pass it up to the striker," he wheezed.
"That's not a pass, it's a clearance!"
"But -"
"No, there is a massive difference between a pass and a clearance, they are two very different things. Watch me." Coyle placed the ball at his feet, and played a simple pass to Gretar Steinsson.
Venom in his eyes, Steinsson repeatedly stamped on the ball, eventually puncturing it with his studs.
"Okay, fine," Coyle sighed. "Never mind, everyone. Just keep doing what you did to Fran Merida, we might come away with a point."
(Here's hoping any Bolton fans who read this can take a joke... See you at the Emirates!)
"Okay boys, listen up," Owen Coyle shouted, jogging out onto the Bolton training pitch with a ball at his feet. He was the embodiment of optimism after his side's spirited performance against Arsenal, his demeanour at odds with the bleak mists enshrouding the complex. His eyes twinkled lightly like the morning dew through which he happily cantered, and his relaxed smile exuded an aura of positive calm.
Spotting the ball, a wild-eyed Zat Knight sprinted headlong into his manager, rugby-tackled him to the ground and attempted to strangle him. Matt Taylor stood over Coyle, tugging at his hair and preparing to kick him in the head.
The Bolton manager gagged, and with all the energy he could muster gestured feebly for help from his coaches.
"No, Matty!" Sandy Stewart bellowed, clapping his hands and whistling. "Zat, get off him!" The two players scampered out of the assistant's way as he lifted Coyle to his feet.
"Right, this is what I came over to talk to you all about," the manager yelled as he dusted himself off. "If we're going to really cope with Arsenal on Wednesday, we're going to have to change our strategy."
Kevin Davies was perplexed. "Strategy?"
"Yes, strategy," Coyle responded, forcing himself to shake off the assault and return to his previous light-hearted manner. "You know, a plan of how to approach the game. Tactics."
Davies looked enquiringly at Gavin McCann, who simply responded with a frown and a shrug.
Coyle took in the reaction of the Bolton squad; it was less than promising. Sam Ricketts was gawping absent-mindedly back at him, Andy O'Brien was scratching his head, and Paul Robinson was holding a worm and poking at it inquisitively.
"No one has heard of strategy? Tactics? Plans for how to compete in midfield, use the space, get through the opposition's backline, that kind of thing?"
There was silence.
Fabrice Muamba stepped forward and shyly raised a hand. "Mr Coyle, I think I know what you mean. Back in my Arsenal days, they taught us to pass it to one another and try to keep possession."
"Good, very good," Coyle replied, visibly relieved. "This is what I taught my Burnley team to do, and now I want to make Bolton do the same. We have to try and get ahold of the ball for as long as possible."
"What, like this, boss?"
Coyle turned to see Paul Robinson holding a ball.
"What? No, Paul, I mean you have to try and pass it to each other -"
"Oh." Robinson walked over to Zat Knight and placed the ball in his team-mate's hands. He turned back to Coyle and smiled.
His manager was less than impressed. "For God's sake. Right. Paul, Andy and Gretar, come over here. I want to go through a practice exercise."
Robinson, O'Brien and Steinsson came forward and stood in a row in front of Coyle, gathering as close together as possible and holding their hands over their groins.
"What are you all doing?" Coyle enquired, baffled by their response. He clapped his hands and gestured for them to separate. "Don't bunch up, spread out! We can't do this exercise if you're all standing next to each other."
The players each took a few steps apart, exchanging worried glances.
Andy O'Brien raised a hand. "Boss, how are we supposed to defend set-pieces if we spread out?"
Exasperated, the Bolton manager held his head in his hands. Struggling to maintain a positive outlook, he took a deep breath and looked up at O'Brien. "Andy, we're practicing something different now. You don't spend most of a football match defending set-pieces!"
"Well, Bolton do," O'Brien responded.
Coyle glared incredulously at the defender, but held his tongue and composed himself. "Okay, well not any more. We're going to work on our passing. That way, we can try and play Arsenal at their own game, and then exploit the gaps they leave when they push forward. So we'll start with a simple passing exercise." He rolled a ball to Robinson.
Panicking, Robinson hoofed the ball with all his might, sending it to the other side of the training complex.
"Paul, what the hell are you doing?!"
Robinson was doubled over, clutching his chest and catching his breath. After taking a moment to recover from the fright of having the ball at his feet, he slowly stood up and shrugged his shoulders. "If we get the ball from a set-piece, we pass it up to the striker," he wheezed.
"That's not a pass, it's a clearance!"
"But -"
"No, there is a massive difference between a pass and a clearance, they are two very different things. Watch me." Coyle placed the ball at his feet, and played a simple pass to Gretar Steinsson.
Venom in his eyes, Steinsson repeatedly stamped on the ball, eventually puncturing it with his studs.
"Okay, fine," Coyle sighed. "Never mind, everyone. Just keep doing what you did to Fran Merida, we might come away with a point."
(Here's hoping any Bolton fans who read this can take a joke... See you at the Emirates!)
Monday, 18 January 2010
An un-Arsenal-like victory and some un-van-Persie-like news
Afternoon everyone - not a bad weekend for us. Sunderland may have made the mother of all half-arsed attempts at Stamford Bridge and United might have laboured to a flattering scoreline against Burnley, but Villa and Spurs each dropped two easy points. Throw in Man City's reality check at Everton (good stuff, Robinho) and we're in a good position going into Wednesday's home game against yesterday's opponents.
We picked up a deserved three points at Bolton, although we had a little bit of fortune along the way. Kevin Davies panicked having been played clear through on goal (a rarity this season, it would seem - apparently our offside trap has caught more opponents than any other team in the league so far), choosing to forego a striker's dream of a one-on-one situation with an Arsenal goalkeeper and instead have a go from well outside the area. Ivan Klasnic dinked Gallas and pulled off a turn that even Dennis Bergkamp might have been proud of, only to run face first into the ball and fall over stretching to finish.
This was the kind of game in which a frontline boasting the average height of a Lego set wouldn't usually manage, but Rosicky and Eduardo carved out some lovely passes with the help of Cesc to bemuse the behemoths of Bolton. Having been opened more times in fifteen minutes than Tom Huddlestone's snack box, the enraged Bolton defence resorted to their usual tactics. Almost like a scene from an American high school movie, three or four of them were shoving Diaby amongst themselves, and despite his size the midfielder simply whimpered and timidly clutched his books to his chest. One took his glasses, another shoved him to the ground; and as he hurriedly gathered his folders together, another kicked him in the rear. They played catch with his calculator for a short while until little Rosicky came to the rescue and bundled one of them over - picking up a yellow in the process. On the whole the ref had a good game, and I suppose he was just trying to keep things calm in the early stages, but Rosicky was hardly the only one who deserved to be punished.
Fabregas also fell victim to Bolton's smart and intricate game plan. With the Spaniard lying prostrate on the ground, Matt Taylor and Zat Knight bundled onto him, determined to exact their revenge for Cesc's response to their clumsy tackling, which was to fall over rather than handle it the Bolton way (turn around and swing a right hook, presumably). Taylor knocked his shin against Cesc's skull several times, and I'm glad that he of all the Bolton players missed as many golden chances as an in-form Adebayor. It would appear as though Owen Coyle has some work to do teaching a few rugby rejects in his squad how to play their way clear of relegation...
As for our own performance, Fabregas was vital as ever, putting on a passing masterclass. He took his goal superbly and was unlucky not to turn provider for Eduardo, placing slightly too much weight on his throughball. He was man of the match by a country mile, and here's hoping that he won't pick up any more injuries this season.
Eduardo set up both goals, with the pick of the two being his lightning-quick one-two with Fabregas. In ten league starts, he's notched three goals and five assists, which isn't all that bad considering he's regularly been deployed on the left of the front three so far. It doesn't compare too badly with Arshavin's six goals and one assist in seventeen starts, particularly as the Russian has often played in the central position lately. He might not be setting the world alight at the moment, but Eduardo's doing the job.
In fact, last night was further evidence that the responsibility for scoring goals isn't at all limited to the forwards. So far in the league, the midfield has scored 23 times, while the forwards have contributed 22 goals. Even the defence has done well, with seven of their own. Admittedly, ten of the midfielders' goals have come from Fabregas, but the forwards have, so far, adapted well without van Persie, who scored eight times before going to a better place.
Arshavin wasn't quite at his best, and seemed absent from all of our key opportunities, but I suppose it was mostly down to fatigue - after all, he has started more league games than any of our other forwards (six more than the next forward, RVP, and seven more than the next living forward, Eduardo). He worked hard early on, but it was clear he was getting tired and maybe should have been taken off instead of Eduardo. I hope and expect that Wenger will put him on the bench for Wednesday's match, because we will need him in his best shape for the Big Four matches in a couple of weeks.
After some very dodgy performances over the last few games, Almunia did well yesterday. He saved and held a sneaking shot from Lee despite his view being obscured, and he showed good reflexes to prevent a Gallas own goal when he was already preparing to close down a shot from the cross. The one real drawback was again his communication, which saw him crash into Sagna without any prior warning and pluck the ball from his head. But on the whole, he had a good game.
Traore, on the other hand, simply couldn't cope, and it was clear that Bolton were targetting him down their right flank. His positioning wasn't great, his heading wasn't good, and his tackling wasn't even average. He simply wouldn't commit to a challenge, and spent a shocking amount of time walking along the touchline even when Bolton were crafting goalscoring opportunities from his part of the pitch. He's done well in a couple of games over the last few weeks, but he was disappointing last night and I think Clichy's come back just in time.
With the exception of Traore, the defence did well. Sagna did what he was meant to do with a solid performance, with less of the bombing forward and less crossing to the International Space Station. Gallas and Vermaelen were at their most dependable, without any real errors, and although Bolton probably deserved a goal, we can be happy to have picked up our first away clean sheet since Fulham in October. That makes seven clean sheets in 21 league games, which is still short of United's nine in 22 and Chelsea's ten in 21, but an improvement nonetheless.
Eastmond played fairly well, turning in a bustling first-half performance. He's Wenger's sort of defensive midfielder - composed, energetic, neat in the tackle, and a tidy, simple passer. He played a part in the first goal, and was unlucky not to score with a cracking low volley which Jaaskelainen managed to spot through Arshavin's legs. His stamina is still lacking, but this is to be expected at his age, and Wenger subbed him when his passing turned sloppy. Merida replaced him and scored a great goal, reacting well to a deflection on Eduardo's cross, controlling it brilliantly and placing his finish just inside the post.
There's not much going on today, with Wenger (apparently) no closer to finding that evasive world-class striker. He did say, however, that van Persie looks set to be back around mid-April, which should give the players another boost before a tricky patch in the fixture list. Ramsey and Nasri are each out for three weeks, so we should see more of Merida and Eastmond on Wednesday.
Robin has another little accident
We picked up a deserved three points at Bolton, although we had a little bit of fortune along the way. Kevin Davies panicked having been played clear through on goal (a rarity this season, it would seem - apparently our offside trap has caught more opponents than any other team in the league so far), choosing to forego a striker's dream of a one-on-one situation with an Arsenal goalkeeper and instead have a go from well outside the area. Ivan Klasnic dinked Gallas and pulled off a turn that even Dennis Bergkamp might have been proud of, only to run face first into the ball and fall over stretching to finish.
This was the kind of game in which a frontline boasting the average height of a Lego set wouldn't usually manage, but Rosicky and Eduardo carved out some lovely passes with the help of Cesc to bemuse the behemoths of Bolton. Having been opened more times in fifteen minutes than Tom Huddlestone's snack box, the enraged Bolton defence resorted to their usual tactics. Almost like a scene from an American high school movie, three or four of them were shoving Diaby amongst themselves, and despite his size the midfielder simply whimpered and timidly clutched his books to his chest. One took his glasses, another shoved him to the ground; and as he hurriedly gathered his folders together, another kicked him in the rear. They played catch with his calculator for a short while until little Rosicky came to the rescue and bundled one of them over - picking up a yellow in the process. On the whole the ref had a good game, and I suppose he was just trying to keep things calm in the early stages, but Rosicky was hardly the only one who deserved to be punished.
Fabregas also fell victim to Bolton's smart and intricate game plan. With the Spaniard lying prostrate on the ground, Matt Taylor and Zat Knight bundled onto him, determined to exact their revenge for Cesc's response to their clumsy tackling, which was to fall over rather than handle it the Bolton way (turn around and swing a right hook, presumably). Taylor knocked his shin against Cesc's skull several times, and I'm glad that he of all the Bolton players missed as many golden chances as an in-form Adebayor. It would appear as though Owen Coyle has some work to do teaching a few rugby rejects in his squad how to play their way clear of relegation...
As for our own performance, Fabregas was vital as ever, putting on a passing masterclass. He took his goal superbly and was unlucky not to turn provider for Eduardo, placing slightly too much weight on his throughball. He was man of the match by a country mile, and here's hoping that he won't pick up any more injuries this season.
Eduardo set up both goals, with the pick of the two being his lightning-quick one-two with Fabregas. In ten league starts, he's notched three goals and five assists, which isn't all that bad considering he's regularly been deployed on the left of the front three so far. It doesn't compare too badly with Arshavin's six goals and one assist in seventeen starts, particularly as the Russian has often played in the central position lately. He might not be setting the world alight at the moment, but Eduardo's doing the job.
In fact, last night was further evidence that the responsibility for scoring goals isn't at all limited to the forwards. So far in the league, the midfield has scored 23 times, while the forwards have contributed 22 goals. Even the defence has done well, with seven of their own. Admittedly, ten of the midfielders' goals have come from Fabregas, but the forwards have, so far, adapted well without van Persie, who scored eight times before going to a better place.
Arshavin wasn't quite at his best, and seemed absent from all of our key opportunities, but I suppose it was mostly down to fatigue - after all, he has started more league games than any of our other forwards (six more than the next forward, RVP, and seven more than the next living forward, Eduardo). He worked hard early on, but it was clear he was getting tired and maybe should have been taken off instead of Eduardo. I hope and expect that Wenger will put him on the bench for Wednesday's match, because we will need him in his best shape for the Big Four matches in a couple of weeks.
After some very dodgy performances over the last few games, Almunia did well yesterday. He saved and held a sneaking shot from Lee despite his view being obscured, and he showed good reflexes to prevent a Gallas own goal when he was already preparing to close down a shot from the cross. The one real drawback was again his communication, which saw him crash into Sagna without any prior warning and pluck the ball from his head. But on the whole, he had a good game.
Traore, on the other hand, simply couldn't cope, and it was clear that Bolton were targetting him down their right flank. His positioning wasn't great, his heading wasn't good, and his tackling wasn't even average. He simply wouldn't commit to a challenge, and spent a shocking amount of time walking along the touchline even when Bolton were crafting goalscoring opportunities from his part of the pitch. He's done well in a couple of games over the last few weeks, but he was disappointing last night and I think Clichy's come back just in time.
With the exception of Traore, the defence did well. Sagna did what he was meant to do with a solid performance, with less of the bombing forward and less crossing to the International Space Station. Gallas and Vermaelen were at their most dependable, without any real errors, and although Bolton probably deserved a goal, we can be happy to have picked up our first away clean sheet since Fulham in October. That makes seven clean sheets in 21 league games, which is still short of United's nine in 22 and Chelsea's ten in 21, but an improvement nonetheless.
Eastmond played fairly well, turning in a bustling first-half performance. He's Wenger's sort of defensive midfielder - composed, energetic, neat in the tackle, and a tidy, simple passer. He played a part in the first goal, and was unlucky not to score with a cracking low volley which Jaaskelainen managed to spot through Arshavin's legs. His stamina is still lacking, but this is to be expected at his age, and Wenger subbed him when his passing turned sloppy. Merida replaced him and scored a great goal, reacting well to a deflection on Eduardo's cross, controlling it brilliantly and placing his finish just inside the post.
There's not much going on today, with Wenger (apparently) no closer to finding that evasive world-class striker. He did say, however, that van Persie looks set to be back around mid-April, which should give the players another boost before a tricky patch in the fixture list. Ramsey and Nasri are each out for three weeks, so we should see more of Merida and Eastmond on Wednesday.
Robin has another little accident
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Arsene Wenger and Denilson in 'Injury Ward'
(Fictional Short)
"Please listen to me, Arsene," Colin Lewin pleaded, pressing himself against the door to the injury ward and trying to block the irate Frenchman from reaching the doorhandle. "He isn't right. This isn't just some sprain he can run off, you saw the way he collapsed! In fifteen years as a physio I've never seen anything like it!"
"I'm going to say this one more time, Colin," Wenger responded calmly, towering over the trembling head physio. "Let me see him."
Realising there was no way of deterring his manager, Lewin sighed and stepped out of his way. "Okay Arsene, but please be careful."
Ignoring the physio, Wenger threw the door open and stormed into the ward.
On either side of him, a seemingly endless row of beds stretched off into the distance. Almost all of them were full, and there was a deeply depressing feel to the place - all around him, players were coughing, sneezing and groaning. Nicklas Bendtner was being spoon-fed a bowl of soup by Gary O'Driscoll, Robin van Persie was feebly lowering a full bed pan to the floor, and Johan Djourou was laying eerily still as his heart monitor beeped monotonously next to his bed. Theo Walcott had just been re-admitted with a sore finger, while Jack Wilshere was wincing as Neal Reynolds prepared to remove a plaster on his knee.
Wenger carried on down the aisle, observing his players from a safe distance and holding a handkerchief over his nose to ward off the smell.
"Boss?"
Wenger turned around. Aaron Ramsey was sitting upright opposite an agitated Philippe Senderos, whose foot had been set in a thick cast. The Swiss was picking inquisitively at the bandaging and emitting a distressed whine.
"I don't think he likes the cast, boss," Ramsey said. "In fact, it doesn't look like there's really anything wrong with his foot."
"Silence, Aaron!" Wenger snapped. "Philippe has an inflamed foot, that's why he hasn't been able to play for the last couple of months!"
Ramsey was perplexed. "But he seemed okay in training yesterday? In fact, until Sol signed -"
"That's enough, Aaron! Philippe has an inflamed foot, and he cannot play!"
Wenger turned on his heel and continued towards the end of the row; Senderos seized a container of pills and petulantly threw it in the direction of his manager, only to mistime his throw and give Theo Walcott a bruised shin, sidelining him for another week.
Wenger came to a stop at the end of Denilson's bed. "Afternoon, Denilson. How are you feeling today?"
The young Brazilian had been secured to the bed with several layers of binding; his face was a peculiar greenish hue, and his pupils were heavily constricted. As soon as Wenger spoke, he began to thrash about, glaring menacingly at the Frenchman and blathering in tongues.
"Well, you look fine to me," Wenger responded. "You know there's no one else who can fill in while Song's away. Get up."
The bed shook violently and rose half a foot clear of the ground, tipping Denilson's bedside table over and shattering a glass of water across the floor. Player, mattress and all were now levitating, and the Brazilian's head was spinning wildly as he spouted obscenities at his manager.
Wenger rolled his eyes. "Stop wasting my time. Get up and join the others in training."
The bed dropped to the floor with a resounding thud. Denilson cricked his neck and fixed his yellow eyes upon the manager. "Your mother sucks -"
"Okay, I think Denilson needs his rest," Gary O'Driscoll asserted, drawing a curtain around the player's bed and setting a timer on his watch. "I'm sorry Arsene, but he's just not ready to play tomorrow."
"Fine," Wenger sighed. "But you'd better figure out what's wrong with him. If there's one way I won't be beaten, it's by possession."
(buh dum...)
"Please listen to me, Arsene," Colin Lewin pleaded, pressing himself against the door to the injury ward and trying to block the irate Frenchman from reaching the doorhandle. "He isn't right. This isn't just some sprain he can run off, you saw the way he collapsed! In fifteen years as a physio I've never seen anything like it!"
"I'm going to say this one more time, Colin," Wenger responded calmly, towering over the trembling head physio. "Let me see him."
Realising there was no way of deterring his manager, Lewin sighed and stepped out of his way. "Okay Arsene, but please be careful."
Ignoring the physio, Wenger threw the door open and stormed into the ward.
On either side of him, a seemingly endless row of beds stretched off into the distance. Almost all of them were full, and there was a deeply depressing feel to the place - all around him, players were coughing, sneezing and groaning. Nicklas Bendtner was being spoon-fed a bowl of soup by Gary O'Driscoll, Robin van Persie was feebly lowering a full bed pan to the floor, and Johan Djourou was laying eerily still as his heart monitor beeped monotonously next to his bed. Theo Walcott had just been re-admitted with a sore finger, while Jack Wilshere was wincing as Neal Reynolds prepared to remove a plaster on his knee.
Wenger carried on down the aisle, observing his players from a safe distance and holding a handkerchief over his nose to ward off the smell.
"Boss?"
Wenger turned around. Aaron Ramsey was sitting upright opposite an agitated Philippe Senderos, whose foot had been set in a thick cast. The Swiss was picking inquisitively at the bandaging and emitting a distressed whine.
"I don't think he likes the cast, boss," Ramsey said. "In fact, it doesn't look like there's really anything wrong with his foot."
"Silence, Aaron!" Wenger snapped. "Philippe has an inflamed foot, that's why he hasn't been able to play for the last couple of months!"
Ramsey was perplexed. "But he seemed okay in training yesterday? In fact, until Sol signed -"
"That's enough, Aaron! Philippe has an inflamed foot, and he cannot play!"
Wenger turned on his heel and continued towards the end of the row; Senderos seized a container of pills and petulantly threw it in the direction of his manager, only to mistime his throw and give Theo Walcott a bruised shin, sidelining him for another week.
Wenger came to a stop at the end of Denilson's bed. "Afternoon, Denilson. How are you feeling today?"
The young Brazilian had been secured to the bed with several layers of binding; his face was a peculiar greenish hue, and his pupils were heavily constricted. As soon as Wenger spoke, he began to thrash about, glaring menacingly at the Frenchman and blathering in tongues.
"Well, you look fine to me," Wenger responded. "You know there's no one else who can fill in while Song's away. Get up."
The bed shook violently and rose half a foot clear of the ground, tipping Denilson's bedside table over and shattering a glass of water across the floor. Player, mattress and all were now levitating, and the Brazilian's head was spinning wildly as he spouted obscenities at his manager.
Wenger rolled his eyes. "Stop wasting my time. Get up and join the others in training."
The bed dropped to the floor with a resounding thud. Denilson cricked his neck and fixed his yellow eyes upon the manager. "Your mother sucks -"
"Okay, I think Denilson needs his rest," Gary O'Driscoll asserted, drawing a curtain around the player's bed and setting a timer on his watch. "I'm sorry Arsene, but he's just not ready to play tomorrow."
"Fine," Wenger sighed. "But you'd better figure out what's wrong with him. If there's one way I won't be beaten, it's by possession."
(buh dum...)
Friday, 15 January 2010
Ex-Arsenal players and a desperate journalist in 'The Odds'
(Only partly fictional)
Journalists stared hopelessly at blank screens. All around the room, heads were slumped over keyboards and fingers were drumming on desks as they racked their brains for something, anything, that a football fan would be the slightest bit interested in reading.
There had been a solemn mood around the offices of The Daily Outright Lie since the start of the transfer window. None of the clubs had any money to spend, most of the big names seemed happy where they were, and there were no controversies to exacerbate. Liverpool couldn't even afford the compensation to sack their own manager.
The newspaper's generic sleazy ex-footballer with gambling debts to pay off had been rambling in his weekly column about how in the old days they would play in ten feet of snow, and the piece had been met with complete apathy by the readers. The phone in reception had stopped ringing entirely; neither club nor player had any agenda to push in the next day's back pages. Even Joan Laporta had stopped calling, heightening the tabloid's fears that his greedy fingers may have finally become too fat to dial.
Sales were down, and the Page 3 staff were working overtime with five more pages to fill.
Their deadlines fast approaching, the atmosphere amongst the journalists was becoming more and more tense. One was pacing the floor, wringing his hands and mumbling something about a rearranged fixture shock. Another leant against the window and loosened his tie as he dreamt up FA punishments for Manchester United's mounting debt, but even he found the very notion preposterous. By the coffee machine, two writers were exchanging rumours of staff cuts within the sports department with hushed voices.
Suddenly, there was an audible gasp from a cubicle in the corner of the room. While trawling the news tickers for a blog post to copy, an intern had read a bizarre article about PaddyPower.
His fellow writers swarmed around his desk. Some hurried to see what he had found out of sheer curiosity; most came with their notepads, their pens hovering aloft like daggers over his back. Craning their necks, pushing and shoving one another, they all struggled to see what the fuss was about.
And then they saw it: the bookmakers had determined the odds for which former Arsenal player would be next to re-join the club.
Their jaws dropped in astonishment, and their pens clattered to the floor. The betting correspondent gathered himself together and began to frantically scribble the odds down, but it was too late - the young intern had sent the article to the printer, and was now squeezing through the entranced crowd to retrieve his work.
His colleagues followed in a daze as he marched to the sports editor's office and rapped confidently on his door.
"Come in?"
He entered the office and firmly closed the door, leaving the writers outside to scrabble amongst themselves for a peek underneath the shutters.
"I have an article for tomorrow," the intern informed his disbelieving editor, handing him the print-out.
Unable to contain his excitement, the editor took out his glasses and held the sheet in front of him. His eyes flicked back and forth over the text as the young intern smiled and waited patiently.
Having digested the background information about Sol Campbell's return, read mentions of Arsenal's apparent lack of depth in defensive midfield and up front, and quickly scanned stories about former Gunners saying they missed the club, he reached the odds given by the bookmakers.
Mathieu Flamini – 5/6
Thierry Henry – 3/1
Aleksander Hleb – 9/2
Jose Antonio Reyes – 10/1
Edu – 16/1
Gilberto – 20/1
Robert Pires – 25/1
Removing his glasses, the editor lowered the page and looked up at the intern.
"Have your desk cleared by tomorrow morning."
Journalists stared hopelessly at blank screens. All around the room, heads were slumped over keyboards and fingers were drumming on desks as they racked their brains for something, anything, that a football fan would be the slightest bit interested in reading.
There had been a solemn mood around the offices of The Daily Outright Lie since the start of the transfer window. None of the clubs had any money to spend, most of the big names seemed happy where they were, and there were no controversies to exacerbate. Liverpool couldn't even afford the compensation to sack their own manager.
The newspaper's generic sleazy ex-footballer with gambling debts to pay off had been rambling in his weekly column about how in the old days they would play in ten feet of snow, and the piece had been met with complete apathy by the readers. The phone in reception had stopped ringing entirely; neither club nor player had any agenda to push in the next day's back pages. Even Joan Laporta had stopped calling, heightening the tabloid's fears that his greedy fingers may have finally become too fat to dial.
Sales were down, and the Page 3 staff were working overtime with five more pages to fill.
Their deadlines fast approaching, the atmosphere amongst the journalists was becoming more and more tense. One was pacing the floor, wringing his hands and mumbling something about a rearranged fixture shock. Another leant against the window and loosened his tie as he dreamt up FA punishments for Manchester United's mounting debt, but even he found the very notion preposterous. By the coffee machine, two writers were exchanging rumours of staff cuts within the sports department with hushed voices.
Suddenly, there was an audible gasp from a cubicle in the corner of the room. While trawling the news tickers for a blog post to copy, an intern had read a bizarre article about PaddyPower.
His fellow writers swarmed around his desk. Some hurried to see what he had found out of sheer curiosity; most came with their notepads, their pens hovering aloft like daggers over his back. Craning their necks, pushing and shoving one another, they all struggled to see what the fuss was about.
And then they saw it: the bookmakers had determined the odds for which former Arsenal player would be next to re-join the club.
Their jaws dropped in astonishment, and their pens clattered to the floor. The betting correspondent gathered himself together and began to frantically scribble the odds down, but it was too late - the young intern had sent the article to the printer, and was now squeezing through the entranced crowd to retrieve his work.
His colleagues followed in a daze as he marched to the sports editor's office and rapped confidently on his door.
"Come in?"
He entered the office and firmly closed the door, leaving the writers outside to scrabble amongst themselves for a peek underneath the shutters.
"I have an article for tomorrow," the intern informed his disbelieving editor, handing him the print-out.
Unable to contain his excitement, the editor took out his glasses and held the sheet in front of him. His eyes flicked back and forth over the text as the young intern smiled and waited patiently.
Having digested the background information about Sol Campbell's return, read mentions of Arsenal's apparent lack of depth in defensive midfield and up front, and quickly scanned stories about former Gunners saying they missed the club, he reached the odds given by the bookmakers.
Mathieu Flamini – 5/6
Thierry Henry – 3/1
Aleksander Hleb – 9/2
Jose Antonio Reyes – 10/1
Edu – 16/1
Gilberto – 20/1
Robert Pires – 25/1
Removing his glasses, the editor lowered the page and looked up at the intern.
"Have your desk cleared by tomorrow morning."
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Is a player committing career suicide if he leaves Arsenal?
Top marks for the JET stories and birthday wishes for 'Arsenality Senior' yesterday. My slightly senile father managed to squeeze in a 'thankyou' amidst the C's, Y's, M's, R's and U's which seem to invariably make up the Welsh language (and of course, the country's actual name).
Also, the advice yesterday concerning my homicidal boiler was much appreciated; I'd like to say I've tried everything, but 'everything' would amount to cluelessly jiggling the switch and then eating a sandwich while my housemate tried to fix it. It tried this little trick last winter, and a series of engineers fought through the resulting webs of snot and phlegm amassing in our kitchen only to spend several hours scratching their heads before offering little but a bashful smile and a shrug. It was eventually sorted out when the moustachioed doughballs masquerading as professionals gave way to someone with a clue, who should be coming to the rescue again tomorrow.
Personally, I have about as much awareness of these things as Maxi Rodriguez presumably has of the situation he's just gotten himself into, and my boiler policy essentially amounts to blue light good, no light bad; low humming noise good, no noise bad; 1.5 bar of pressure good, sustained leaking followed by explosion bad.
So my next distraction, as I sit at my desk wearing as many layers as Carlos Vela and Fran Merida huddled under their blanket on the subs' bench, was the thought that players who have left Arsenal prematurely seem to have failed at their next clubs. There are the obvious exceptions, of course, but a good number of careers have been hit harder than a lamp-post in the way of Jermaine Pennant's zig-zagging Mercedes.
Take, for instance, Aliaksandr Hleb, who ran off to Barcelona after one impressive season at Arsenal, only to see his reputation wither away within twelve months. He made only eight starts in the league and four in his team's run to Champions League victory, making more appearances as a substitute. Of course, he started five Copa del Rey matches, but that doesn't tend to be a good thing in Spain's sole cup competiton, which is apparently regarded as something of a Carling-FA Cup hybrid. Despite the run-outs against weaker teams, the attacking midfielder managed only 0 goals and 3 assists in 32 appearances for Barca. His loan at Stuttgart hasn't gone all that well either - 0 goals and 0 assists in 20 matches. It would appear that one of the greatest dribblers we've had at this club is still evacuating his bowels as soon as he gets anywhere near a goal, instead choosing to pass backwards as if each match were a training ground box exercise.
Jose Antonio Reyes was something of a troublemaker during his three-and-a-half year stint at the club. He was constantly linked with a move to Real Madrid, and on several occasions seemingly did his best to perpetuate the rumours. Those who remember the infamous prank-call Reyes fell for in 2005, made by a Spanish radio station host posing as the Real director of football, will recall that he seemed rather eager for a transfer. In 06/07, the forward had a fairly average year on loan at Real, until he scored the two goals that won them the league title in the final game of the season. He didn't get his permanent contract, and was sold to Athletic Madrid for a carcrash of a season - 0 goals in 29 appearances. He spent last season on loan at Benfica, where he found some decent form, scoring and setting up a handful of goals. Having returned to Athletic Madrid for the season, he has improved slightly, and last week scored his first goal in Spain for over three and a half years. With Maxi Rodriguez gone, he might have his chance in the next few months.
Speaking of Real Madrid, Lassana Diarra has done well in Spain, to the extent that some are already labelling him 'the new Makelele'. But having left us after 10 games (four months) because he couldn't budge Flamini from the starting line-up hardly warrants him recognition as a former Gunner. As bitter as that sounds - he could have made Flamini's departure a hell of a lot easier on us at the start of 08/09 - I think most would agree it's fair to say he was something of a footnote in Arsenal's history.
Edu left on a Bosman in the summer of 2005, having failed to agree a new contract at Arsenal. He had become a popular figure amongst the fans, playing an important role in the 03-04 Invincibles season, but the England-international-that-never-was headed for Valencia, turning down the likes of Inter and Barcelona. However, he suffered an injury in pre-season which kept him out for almost a year, and he never recaptured his best Arsenal form. In four years at Valencia, he only made 50 appearances, and was released last summer. In August, his career was laid to rest in the Brazilian footballers' burial ground: Brazil.
Our good friend Ashley Cole is doing well at Chelsea, having finally recaptured his form after a relatively shaky start. He had a couple of dodgy moments for England (most notably somehow gifting Kazakhstan a goal in a World Cup qualifier last season) but as much as it pains me to say, he's back to his best at the moment. The good news is that, in exchange, we got a wad of cash and a world-class centre-back who is arguably the best in the Premiership at the moment - not to mention simply replacing him with a younger carbon copy, whose current understudy is already being compared to Mr. Faithful himself in ability. I'll admit it, Chelsea can be happy with their signing, but I'm sure he'll catch a whiff of the oil money in Manchester one day.
David Bentley, on the other hand, might look back on one particular decision with regret. He showed us glimpses of his potential in a handful of appearances, the standout moment definitely being his lob of Mark Schwarzer in the FA Cup, before somehow managing to put in a good season on loan as part of Norwich's ill-fated return to the Premiership. In 2005 he handed in a transfer request, citing personal reasons - apparently, he'd been playing as fast and loose with his earnings as his current manager's accounting. Anyway, he went to Blackburn on what was intended as a season's loan, winning himself a permanent move in the January window, and had three outstanding years at Ewood Park. By the summer of 2008, he had scored 19 goals and bagged 26 assists for Blackburn, earned 7 England caps, and had been compared to David Beckham... so he went to Tottenham. Eighteen months later, I'm sure he expected more than 21 league starts, although I'd expect that Spurs wanted more than a Carling Cup star for £15 million. I doubt he will still "feel like Superman" now, but he certainly can't "fly home"...
I feel a bit guilty mentioning Adebayor in light of what he's going through at the moment, and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying my thoughts are with the Togo team. In any case, the jury's still out on him. He enjoyed a blistering start to his Man City career, scoring in all of his first four matches - although it hasn't escaped my attention that the first three came against Blackburn, Wolves and Portsmouth - but since his three-match ban for nearly popping van Persie's eye-ball with his studs in that infamous encounter at Eastlands, his form has plummeted. His only two goals since then came against Chelsea (after he scored an own goal) and, of course, the unstoppable Liverpool, making it six in 15 starts. A decent haul, although it remains to be seen how he comes back from his leave of absence.
Similarly, it's too early to tell how Kolo Toure will do at Eastlands. He was given the captain's armband straight away, and has arguably been their most important defender this season, although I have seen some grumbling amongst City fans about his selection for the role. Man City have conceded more goals than any other team in the top half of the table this season, despite having one of the best goalkeepers in the country; indeed, Given's consistency and reflexes have been called upon on a number of occasions so far, and his defence must surely be held accountable. Admittedly, some would point to the faltering form of Joleon Lescott prior to his injury, especially as Toure himself seems to have settled in fairly well. I'd be interested to see what City fans make of him.
Alongside Ashley Cole, Thierry Henry was the other real exception. Had he been less patient, he might have left Barcelona after one year; he famously told the BBC in April 2008 that he missed Arsenal and life "back home" in London, and that he was dissatisfied with the transfer, which was probably in no small part down to his constant deployment on the left wing. However, he finished that year as the club's top scorer, and surpassed both his goal and assist tallies the following season; as well as this, he achieved his target of winning the Champions League, and eventually won everything going in 2009. He's been incredibly successful, yet although Wenger wanted to keep him for the 07/08 season, Arsenal appear to have benefited from his sale. His presence in the dressing room might have helped the following season, but there was no way of knowing whether his injury problems would abate - besides, Arsenal's 07/08 campaign was a significant improvement on the previous one. Of course, £16 million wasn't ideal compared to the offers we received from the same club 12 months previously, which were estimated at more than three times that amount. But it was considerably more than we paid for him - and considering he was three weeks away from his 30th birthday, it was still a huge amount of money for Barcelona to spend on a player of his age.
Lastly, the other of the two who left Arsenal's unstoppable 07/08 midfield was Mathieu Flamini. He didn't have a great start to life in Milan, making nowhere near the number of starts as he'd had with Arsenal at the same stage of the previous year, and being regarded as a utility player by the management. He finally won a place in the team after an injury crisis, and featured more regularly in the last few months of the season - as a right-back. It's been back to square one this season, with his appearances divided evenly between starts and cameos off the bench, and I'm sure he'll be delighted to have been linked with Spurs this week. The ability still seems to be there, but the chances are not - and despite the slightly bitter aftertaste of his departure 18 months ago, he is still best friends with Cesc and Rosicky and apparently often talks to Wenger. I don't know about you lot, but a central midfield of Cesc, Flamini and Song would make me happier than David Bentley with a vat of Brylcreem.
It would seem as though, in general, most players who leave early fail to recapture their Arsenal form. Whether finally winning that big contract saps their motivation, or they were largely a product of Wenger's style to the extent that they can't fit in elsewhere, certain former Gunners such as Reyes and Hleb have flopped badly so far. Ashley Cole and Thierry Henry are the two notable exceptions, and Adebayor and Toure still have time to buck the trend. But the experience of David Bentley might give any prodigious Arsenal youngsters second thoughts about seeking immediate first-team football elsewhere.
Merida, you have been warned...
Also, the advice yesterday concerning my homicidal boiler was much appreciated; I'd like to say I've tried everything, but 'everything' would amount to cluelessly jiggling the switch and then eating a sandwich while my housemate tried to fix it. It tried this little trick last winter, and a series of engineers fought through the resulting webs of snot and phlegm amassing in our kitchen only to spend several hours scratching their heads before offering little but a bashful smile and a shrug. It was eventually sorted out when the moustachioed doughballs masquerading as professionals gave way to someone with a clue, who should be coming to the rescue again tomorrow.
Personally, I have about as much awareness of these things as Maxi Rodriguez presumably has of the situation he's just gotten himself into, and my boiler policy essentially amounts to blue light good, no light bad; low humming noise good, no noise bad; 1.5 bar of pressure good, sustained leaking followed by explosion bad.
So my next distraction, as I sit at my desk wearing as many layers as Carlos Vela and Fran Merida huddled under their blanket on the subs' bench, was the thought that players who have left Arsenal prematurely seem to have failed at their next clubs. There are the obvious exceptions, of course, but a good number of careers have been hit harder than a lamp-post in the way of Jermaine Pennant's zig-zagging Mercedes.
Take, for instance, Aliaksandr Hleb, who ran off to Barcelona after one impressive season at Arsenal, only to see his reputation wither away within twelve months. He made only eight starts in the league and four in his team's run to Champions League victory, making more appearances as a substitute. Of course, he started five Copa del Rey matches, but that doesn't tend to be a good thing in Spain's sole cup competiton, which is apparently regarded as something of a Carling-FA Cup hybrid. Despite the run-outs against weaker teams, the attacking midfielder managed only 0 goals and 3 assists in 32 appearances for Barca. His loan at Stuttgart hasn't gone all that well either - 0 goals and 0 assists in 20 matches. It would appear that one of the greatest dribblers we've had at this club is still evacuating his bowels as soon as he gets anywhere near a goal, instead choosing to pass backwards as if each match were a training ground box exercise.
Jose Antonio Reyes was something of a troublemaker during his three-and-a-half year stint at the club. He was constantly linked with a move to Real Madrid, and on several occasions seemingly did his best to perpetuate the rumours. Those who remember the infamous prank-call Reyes fell for in 2005, made by a Spanish radio station host posing as the Real director of football, will recall that he seemed rather eager for a transfer. In 06/07, the forward had a fairly average year on loan at Real, until he scored the two goals that won them the league title in the final game of the season. He didn't get his permanent contract, and was sold to Athletic Madrid for a carcrash of a season - 0 goals in 29 appearances. He spent last season on loan at Benfica, where he found some decent form, scoring and setting up a handful of goals. Having returned to Athletic Madrid for the season, he has improved slightly, and last week scored his first goal in Spain for over three and a half years. With Maxi Rodriguez gone, he might have his chance in the next few months.
Speaking of Real Madrid, Lassana Diarra has done well in Spain, to the extent that some are already labelling him 'the new Makelele'. But having left us after 10 games (four months) because he couldn't budge Flamini from the starting line-up hardly warrants him recognition as a former Gunner. As bitter as that sounds - he could have made Flamini's departure a hell of a lot easier on us at the start of 08/09 - I think most would agree it's fair to say he was something of a footnote in Arsenal's history.
Edu left on a Bosman in the summer of 2005, having failed to agree a new contract at Arsenal. He had become a popular figure amongst the fans, playing an important role in the 03-04 Invincibles season, but the England-international-that-never-was headed for Valencia, turning down the likes of Inter and Barcelona. However, he suffered an injury in pre-season which kept him out for almost a year, and he never recaptured his best Arsenal form. In four years at Valencia, he only made 50 appearances, and was released last summer. In August, his career was laid to rest in the Brazilian footballers' burial ground: Brazil.
Our good friend Ashley Cole is doing well at Chelsea, having finally recaptured his form after a relatively shaky start. He had a couple of dodgy moments for England (most notably somehow gifting Kazakhstan a goal in a World Cup qualifier last season) but as much as it pains me to say, he's back to his best at the moment. The good news is that, in exchange, we got a wad of cash and a world-class centre-back who is arguably the best in the Premiership at the moment - not to mention simply replacing him with a younger carbon copy, whose current understudy is already being compared to Mr. Faithful himself in ability. I'll admit it, Chelsea can be happy with their signing, but I'm sure he'll catch a whiff of the oil money in Manchester one day.
David Bentley, on the other hand, might look back on one particular decision with regret. He showed us glimpses of his potential in a handful of appearances, the standout moment definitely being his lob of Mark Schwarzer in the FA Cup, before somehow managing to put in a good season on loan as part of Norwich's ill-fated return to the Premiership. In 2005 he handed in a transfer request, citing personal reasons - apparently, he'd been playing as fast and loose with his earnings as his current manager's accounting. Anyway, he went to Blackburn on what was intended as a season's loan, winning himself a permanent move in the January window, and had three outstanding years at Ewood Park. By the summer of 2008, he had scored 19 goals and bagged 26 assists for Blackburn, earned 7 England caps, and had been compared to David Beckham... so he went to Tottenham. Eighteen months later, I'm sure he expected more than 21 league starts, although I'd expect that Spurs wanted more than a Carling Cup star for £15 million. I doubt he will still "feel like Superman" now, but he certainly can't "fly home"...
I feel a bit guilty mentioning Adebayor in light of what he's going through at the moment, and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying my thoughts are with the Togo team. In any case, the jury's still out on him. He enjoyed a blistering start to his Man City career, scoring in all of his first four matches - although it hasn't escaped my attention that the first three came against Blackburn, Wolves and Portsmouth - but since his three-match ban for nearly popping van Persie's eye-ball with his studs in that infamous encounter at Eastlands, his form has plummeted. His only two goals since then came against Chelsea (after he scored an own goal) and, of course, the unstoppable Liverpool, making it six in 15 starts. A decent haul, although it remains to be seen how he comes back from his leave of absence.
Similarly, it's too early to tell how Kolo Toure will do at Eastlands. He was given the captain's armband straight away, and has arguably been their most important defender this season, although I have seen some grumbling amongst City fans about his selection for the role. Man City have conceded more goals than any other team in the top half of the table this season, despite having one of the best goalkeepers in the country; indeed, Given's consistency and reflexes have been called upon on a number of occasions so far, and his defence must surely be held accountable. Admittedly, some would point to the faltering form of Joleon Lescott prior to his injury, especially as Toure himself seems to have settled in fairly well. I'd be interested to see what City fans make of him.
Alongside Ashley Cole, Thierry Henry was the other real exception. Had he been less patient, he might have left Barcelona after one year; he famously told the BBC in April 2008 that he missed Arsenal and life "back home" in London, and that he was dissatisfied with the transfer, which was probably in no small part down to his constant deployment on the left wing. However, he finished that year as the club's top scorer, and surpassed both his goal and assist tallies the following season; as well as this, he achieved his target of winning the Champions League, and eventually won everything going in 2009. He's been incredibly successful, yet although Wenger wanted to keep him for the 07/08 season, Arsenal appear to have benefited from his sale. His presence in the dressing room might have helped the following season, but there was no way of knowing whether his injury problems would abate - besides, Arsenal's 07/08 campaign was a significant improvement on the previous one. Of course, £16 million wasn't ideal compared to the offers we received from the same club 12 months previously, which were estimated at more than three times that amount. But it was considerably more than we paid for him - and considering he was three weeks away from his 30th birthday, it was still a huge amount of money for Barcelona to spend on a player of his age.
Lastly, the other of the two who left Arsenal's unstoppable 07/08 midfield was Mathieu Flamini. He didn't have a great start to life in Milan, making nowhere near the number of starts as he'd had with Arsenal at the same stage of the previous year, and being regarded as a utility player by the management. He finally won a place in the team after an injury crisis, and featured more regularly in the last few months of the season - as a right-back. It's been back to square one this season, with his appearances divided evenly between starts and cameos off the bench, and I'm sure he'll be delighted to have been linked with Spurs this week. The ability still seems to be there, but the chances are not - and despite the slightly bitter aftertaste of his departure 18 months ago, he is still best friends with Cesc and Rosicky and apparently often talks to Wenger. I don't know about you lot, but a central midfield of Cesc, Flamini and Song would make me happier than David Bentley with a vat of Brylcreem.
It would seem as though, in general, most players who leave early fail to recapture their Arsenal form. Whether finally winning that big contract saps their motivation, or they were largely a product of Wenger's style to the extent that they can't fit in elsewhere, certain former Gunners such as Reyes and Hleb have flopped badly so far. Ashley Cole and Thierry Henry are the two notable exceptions, and Adebayor and Toure still have time to buck the trend. But the experience of David Bentley might give any prodigious Arsenal youngsters second thoughts about seeking immediate first-team football elsewhere.
Merida, you have been warned...
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Anyone notice the 19-year-old Arsenal midfielder score a hat-trick last night?
Good evening, and I hope you're all reading this in better conditions than I currently find myself... my boiler thought this would be the ideal night to pull the old classic 'failure to ignite'.
So I thought I'd better write tonight's post before my fingers turn navy blue and jump ship.
It's been an interesting 24 hours at Arsenal, and there's been plenty of debate over Sol's likely return to the fold. As I'm sure you're aware by now, he participated in last night's 4-2 Reserves win over West Ham (he was subbed off at half-time with Arsenal 2-0 up), although just to clarify for those who seem to have got themselves a bit mixed up, such as the official Arsenal website, that doesn't mean he's signed a contract with us yet.
Reserve League registration is a very different thing. My dad could play for them if Neil Banfield wanted a doddering 52-year-old Welshman puffing about the centre-circle, shouting unintelligibly at the players and, most likely, the fans in the stands. (Happy birthday Dad...)
Of course, last night was a great chance for the youngsters to make an impression, with all of North London and pretty much the entire national media waiting with bated breath to see how the game turned out. Accordingly, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas bagged himself a hat-trick, but he might as well have run out of the tunnel with a small pistol and wiped out the entire West Ham reserves team. Nothing was going to detract from Sol's first half run-out, and besides, it would merely have been a standard day at the office for the West Ham physios.
He said after the game that he'd like a chance in the FA Cup, and personally I'd love to see him get a run out. He's a tremendously versatile player, who has played at left-back and centre-back, left-midfield and centre-midfield, and even up front on the odd occasion. He's one of the most powerful players to come through the academy, standing 6 foot 2 with the strength to match, and he's only 19. In 35 appearances for the Reserves and Under-18s last season (5 of which were off the bench) he scored 14 goals, and had a very successful loan spell at Blackpool earlier in the season. Needless to say, Ian Holloway wants him back.
Lastly, some contract news. Craig Eastmond, another big prospect, signed a long-term deal today, taking the number of new contracts this season to about 460.
Joining the JET Set
So I thought I'd better write tonight's post before my fingers turn navy blue and jump ship.
It's been an interesting 24 hours at Arsenal, and there's been plenty of debate over Sol's likely return to the fold. As I'm sure you're aware by now, he participated in last night's 4-2 Reserves win over West Ham (he was subbed off at half-time with Arsenal 2-0 up), although just to clarify for those who seem to have got themselves a bit mixed up, such as the official Arsenal website, that doesn't mean he's signed a contract with us yet.
Reserve League registration is a very different thing. My dad could play for them if Neil Banfield wanted a doddering 52-year-old Welshman puffing about the centre-circle, shouting unintelligibly at the players and, most likely, the fans in the stands. (Happy birthday Dad...)
Of course, last night was a great chance for the youngsters to make an impression, with all of North London and pretty much the entire national media waiting with bated breath to see how the game turned out. Accordingly, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas bagged himself a hat-trick, but he might as well have run out of the tunnel with a small pistol and wiped out the entire West Ham reserves team. Nothing was going to detract from Sol's first half run-out, and besides, it would merely have been a standard day at the office for the West Ham physios.
He said after the game that he'd like a chance in the FA Cup, and personally I'd love to see him get a run out. He's a tremendously versatile player, who has played at left-back and centre-back, left-midfield and centre-midfield, and even up front on the odd occasion. He's one of the most powerful players to come through the academy, standing 6 foot 2 with the strength to match, and he's only 19. In 35 appearances for the Reserves and Under-18s last season (5 of which were off the bench) he scored 14 goals, and had a very successful loan spell at Blackpool earlier in the season. Needless to say, Ian Holloway wants him back.
Lastly, some contract news. Craig Eastmond, another big prospect, signed a long-term deal today, taking the number of new contracts this season to about 460.
Joining the JET Set
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
Sol's audition could see Senderos out
The future of our defence now hinges upon how a 35-year-old, who last played for a club in the lowest tier of English professional football, performs against West Ham's fringe players.
Sol Campbell is representing Arsenal tonight in the Reserve match against West Ham, with the aim of securing a move back to Arsenal for the rest of the season. Apparently, the official Arsenal website announced his signature earlier, only to remove the story almost immediately.
The general consensus at the moment isn't exactly in favour of signing him. A quick look through the news tickers and you might as well have just arrived at your local supermarket on the eve of nuclear war, only to see your neighbours reduced to their primal instincts: half a dozen people scrapping for the last loaf of bread, their bloodied faces contorted in feral rage; best friends fighting to the death to reach the tills, throwing electrical appliances at one anothers' heads; women snarling and throwing bleach in each others' eyes in the battle to reach the household products; and even children biting various shoppers' fingers and punching innocent men in the groin, all under the instruction of their parents.
I'm not panicking, but I'm certainly not feeling confident about it, especially as it may ensure the departure of Philippe 'Former-Next-Tony-Adams' Senderos. The Swiss defender has been linked with a move away from the club since the summer, and having made only two appearances in the Carling Cup this season, his demands for first-team football would seem fairly rational, especially with a World Cup in five months to think about. I expect that Campbell's signature would lead to Senderos leaving this month, which is a real shame.
People forget his contribution to the club before his loan spell with Milan. As someone pointed out yesterday, he was an integral part of the defence which took us to the 2006 Champions League Final with clean sheets against Real Madrid, Juventus and Villarreal - and at the time, he was 21. He was also present throughout a series of clean sheets in the league in 2007-08, repeating the feat against AC Milan and earning himself a year with them. However, he is remembered by many for several costly blunders against Drogba and Torres, and most still seem to think he won't make the grade.
I spoke of this yesterday, but now I'm eager to hear everyone else's opinions. Obviously my own feelings have been made fairly clear, but I can understand Wenger's logic in switching a player who has been alienated from the first team, and is rumoured to be irremediably unsettled, for an influential player with a huge history at the club. I've set up a poll on the sidebar, and would be very grateful if you could let us know which of these two players you'd prefer to be on our books for the rest of the season.
Sol Campbell is representing Arsenal tonight in the Reserve match against West Ham, with the aim of securing a move back to Arsenal for the rest of the season. Apparently, the official Arsenal website announced his signature earlier, only to remove the story almost immediately.
The general consensus at the moment isn't exactly in favour of signing him. A quick look through the news tickers and you might as well have just arrived at your local supermarket on the eve of nuclear war, only to see your neighbours reduced to their primal instincts: half a dozen people scrapping for the last loaf of bread, their bloodied faces contorted in feral rage; best friends fighting to the death to reach the tills, throwing electrical appliances at one anothers' heads; women snarling and throwing bleach in each others' eyes in the battle to reach the household products; and even children biting various shoppers' fingers and punching innocent men in the groin, all under the instruction of their parents.
I'm not panicking, but I'm certainly not feeling confident about it, especially as it may ensure the departure of Philippe 'Former-Next-Tony-Adams' Senderos. The Swiss defender has been linked with a move away from the club since the summer, and having made only two appearances in the Carling Cup this season, his demands for first-team football would seem fairly rational, especially with a World Cup in five months to think about. I expect that Campbell's signature would lead to Senderos leaving this month, which is a real shame.
People forget his contribution to the club before his loan spell with Milan. As someone pointed out yesterday, he was an integral part of the defence which took us to the 2006 Champions League Final with clean sheets against Real Madrid, Juventus and Villarreal - and at the time, he was 21. He was also present throughout a series of clean sheets in the league in 2007-08, repeating the feat against AC Milan and earning himself a year with them. However, he is remembered by many for several costly blunders against Drogba and Torres, and most still seem to think he won't make the grade.
I spoke of this yesterday, but now I'm eager to hear everyone else's opinions. Obviously my own feelings have been made fairly clear, but I can understand Wenger's logic in switching a player who has been alienated from the first team, and is rumoured to be irremediably unsettled, for an influential player with a huge history at the club. I've set up a poll on the sidebar, and would be very grateful if you could let us know which of these two players you'd prefer to be on our books for the rest of the season.
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